Left.
宇津の山夕越え來れば霙降り袖ほしかねつ哀この旅
| utsu no yama yū koekureba mizore furi sode hoshikanetsu aware kono tabi |
Gloomy in the Utsu Mountains, Crossing them at dusk In a fall of sleet; I cannot dry my sleeves, On this lonely journey. |
527
Right.
今日も又交野の御野に霙してかはく間もなき狩衣かな
| kyō mo mata katano no mino ni mizore shite kawaku ma mo naki karigoromo kana |
Today once more On the royal hunting grounds at Katano Sleet falls; No time at all to dry My hunter’s garb… |
528
The Right find no faults with the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem sounds old-fashioned [furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s ‘I cannot dry my sleeves, on this lonely journey’ (sode hoshikanetsu aware kono tabi) has a strong sound of loneliness about it [sabite wa kikoehaberu], but there is a lack of anything connected to utsu no yama in this poem. In The Tales of Ise where it says ‘By Utsu Mount in reality‘ (utsu no yamabe no utsutsu ni mo), it does not seem that sleet was falling. If there is no reason for including utsu no yama to express the sense of sleet falling, there are many other places which could have been used to express a lonely journey. As there is no reason for including it, formally [sama de] there is a lack of connection to it. The Right’s katano no mino, too, as in the poem ‘To lend lodging to keep me dry, is there no one‘ is about hail, though hawking does take place there, so the poem does sounds slightly charming [sukoshi okashiku kikoyu]. Both Left and Right use utsu no yama and katano no mino, respectively, unnecessarily – anywhere would have done as well. Both poems are equal for this reason.’