Left (Tie).
澄み來ける跡は光に殘れども月こそ古りね廣澤の池
| sumikikeru ato wa hikari ni nokoredomo tsuki koso furine hirosawa no ike |
Limpid Traces of light Remain, and yet The moon shows no sign of age Above Hirosawa Pond. |
411
Right.
隈もなく月澄む夜半は廣澤の池は空にぞ一つなりける
| kuma mo naku tsuki sumu yowa wa hirosawa no ike wa sora ni zo hitotsu narikeru |
Completely full The moon is clear at midnight: Hirosawa Pond and the heavens Have become as one. |
412
The Right query the expressions ‘light remain’ (hikari ni nokoru) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine), and also say that the Left’s poem lack emotional overtones of a ‘View’ as a topic. The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: On the Left’s poem, I do not strongly feel that expressions such as ‘traces of light’ (ato wa hikari ni) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine) are particularly bad, but the gentlemen of the Right have identified two faults with the poem. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that there is much sense of a view in expressions such as, ‘pond and the heavens’ (ike wa sora ni zo), and the frequency of wa in tsuki sumu yowa wa, and ike wa, means the poem is lacking in form; it is truly unfortunate that I cannot declare the Left, which lacks a sense of a View, the winner.