Love X: 10

Left (Win)
一夜かす野上の里の草枕結びすてける人の契りを

hitoyo kasu
nogami no sato no
kusamakura
musubitekeru
hito no chigiri o
For a single night you lent,
At the estate of Nogami,
Your pillow of grass to me;
Entwined in
A brief bond of love!

Lord Sada’ie
1159

Right
恨むべき方こそなけれ東路の野上の庵の暮れ方の空

uramubeki
kata koso nakere
azumaji no
nogami no io no
kurekata no sora
My despite
Has no place to go;
Upon the eastern roads
Above a hut in Nogami
The sky is filled with darkness…

Jakuren
1160

The Right state: ‘for a single night you lent’ is grating on the ear. In addition, we wonder about the appropriateness of the final section. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘estate of Nogami’ (nogami no sato), and the Right’s ‘a hut in Nogami’ (nogami no io), then saying ‘entwined’ (musubitekeru) and ‘the sky is filled with darkness’ (kurekata no sora) – both poems have significant conception, but how should the initial section of the Right’s poem – ‘my despite has no place to go’ (uramubeki kata koso nakere) be understood? If it was a sky filled with light, then one would feel despite, but in the evening she would be lending her hut, surely. There is nothing unusual about the conclusion of the Left’s poem. It should win.

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