旅ねするいせの浜をぎつゆながらむすぶ枕にやどる月かげ
| tabinesuru ise no hamaogi tsuyu nagara musubu makura ni yadoru tsukikage | Sleeping on my travels, with Cogon grass from the shore at Ise, Dew covered, Woven for my pillow, Moonlight’s lodging.[i] |
568
[i] See: 神風之 伊勢乃浜荻 折伏 客宿也将為 荒浜辺尓 kamukaze no/ ise no hamaogi / orifusete / tabine ya suramu / araki hamabe ni ‘Divine winds blow / Cogon grass on the shore at Ise / I weave and lay me down— / Should I doze upon my travels? / On this wild beachside…’ (Man’yōshū IV: 500).
草枕たびにしあればいもにこひさむるまをなみ夢さへみえず
| kusamakura tabi ni shi areba imo ni koi samuru ma o nami yume sae miezu | A pillow of grass I have on my travels, so Yearning for my darling I lie awake, not even Glimpsing her within a dream.[i] |
565
[i] See: 家有者 笥尓盛飯乎 草枕 旅尓之有者 椎之葉尓盛 ie ni areba/ ke ni moru ii o / kusamakura / tabi ni shi areba / shii no ha ni moru ‘When I am at home / The pots are full of rice, but / Pillowed on the grass / On this journey now / Only the chinquapin leaves are plentiful…’ Prince Arima (Man’yōshū II: 142)
Left
ひとこひてぬるはるのよはしきたへのまくらながれてうきぬべきかな
| hito koite nuru haru no yo wa shikitae no makura nagarete ukinubeki kana | Loving her, and Sleeping on a night in spring, My mulberry cloth Pillow in the flow Simply floats away! |
11
Right
ねざめするわがしきたへはいけなれやつまなきをしとなかれこそすれ
| nezamesuru wa ga shikitae wa ike nare ya tsuma naki oshi to nakare koso sure | On waking Is my mulberry cloth A pond, by chance? For as a mandarin drake without his duck Do I surely cry! |
12
Round Twenty-Four
Left (Win)
かぜのおとにわきぞかねましまつがねのまくらにもらぬしぐれなりせば
| kaze no oto ni waki zo kanemashi matsu ga ne no makura ni moranu shigure nariseba | The gusts of wind I cannot tell apart from The rustle of the pines roots For my pillow should no drips From the shower fall… |
Lord Sanefusa
97
Right
たびのいほはあらしにたぐふよこしぐれしばのかこひにとまらざりけり
| tabi no io wa arashi ni taguu yoko shigure shiba no kakoi ni tomarazarikeri | My traveller’s hut Is lashed by the storm wind’s Sideways showers— The brushwood walls Halt it not at all. |
Lord Yorimasa
98
The conception and configuration of the poem of the Left, starting ‘I cannot tell apart from / The rustle of the pines’ and continuing ‘For my pillow should no drips / From the shower fall’ is, once again, truly exceptional! As for the poem of the Right, while it appears to have a charming style and use of diction, even if it is the case that ‘sideways showers’ are a genuine phenomenon, it fails to sound particularly elegant, doesn’t it. In addition, the latter section of the poem, ‘the brushwood walls’, feels slightly lacking in conception. Thus, I make the Left the winner.
Round Sixteen
Left
くさまくらたびねさびしきやまかげにこのはさそひてしぐれふるなり
| kusamakura tabine sabishiki yamakage ni ko no ha sasoite shigure furunari | On a grassy pillow, Dozing on my travels, lonely In a mountain’s shade, The rustling of the leaves invites A shower to fall. |
Hyōenosuke
81
Right (Win)
すみのえのまつがはひねをまくらにてなみうちそふるしぐれをぞきく
| suminoe no matsu ga haine o makura nite nami uchisouru shigure o zo kiku | At Suminoe Upon the crawling pine roots Have I made my pillow, while Laced with the breaking waves I listen to the showers. |
Lord Naganori
82
The Left’s configuration of ‘the rustling of the leaves invites’, while dozing on one’s journey in the shadow of a mountain, sounds pleasant. While I do wonder about the Right’s diction—concluding with ‘listen to the showers’—in addition to ‘laced with the breaking waves’ sounding pleasant, it also adds the conception of waves beneath ‘the pines of Suminoe’, doesn’t it. I make the Right the winner.
Round Fourteen
Left
こころあれやかきなくらしそはつしぐれまださしはてずしばのかりいほ
| kokoro are ya kaki na kurashi so hatsushigure mada sashihatezu shiba no kari’io | Have some sympathy, And bring no darkness, O, first shower! For I have yet to finish putting up My crude brushwood hut… |
Lord Suetsune
77
Right (Win)
すみよしのまつがしたねのたびまくらしぐれもかぜにききまがへつつ
| sumiyoshi no matsu ga shita ne no tabimakura shigure mo kaze ni kikimagaetsutsu | At Sumiyoshi Beneath the pines, their roots are My journey-pillow, as The shower, too, with the gusting wind I hear blending together. |
Takanobu
78
The Left’s latter section, which states that the poet has ‘yet to finish putting up’ his hut, has a truly charming configuration as a poem on the conception of travel, but the phrase ‘have some sympathy’ does not appear to be a conception which has prior precedent. It could be a way of expressing the emotion through the shower. As for the Right, while I do question the sound of ‘journey-pillow’, it is the case that in Cathay-style poems this appears, but what are we do to about the fact that this is not ‘pillow on my journey’, I wonder? The sequencing of ‘the shower, too, with the wind’ is pleasant, isn’t it. Thus, I make the Right the winner.
Round Ten
Left (Tie)
くさまくらしぐれもそでをぬらしけりみやこをこふるなみだならねど
| kusamakura shigure mo sode o nurashikeri miyako o kouru namida naranedo | On a pillow of grass The showers, too, my sleeves Have soaked; Longing for the capital These tears are not, yet… |
Hiromori
69
Right
かりいほさすならのからはのむらしぐれあはれはまきのおとばかりかは
| kari’io sasu nara no karawa no murashigure aware wa maki no oto bakari ka wa | Erecting a crude hut, The withered leaves of oak are Struck by cloudbursts; Does sadness in the evergreens’ Sound solely lie? |
Dharma Master Chikyō
70
Both Left and Right appear to have elegant configuration and diction, but the Left seems to presents the soaking of sleeves by showers as something novel, while the Right gives a feeling that it is only the sound of evergreens that makes one sad. Thus, these tie.
Round Six
Left (Tie)
たびねするこやのしのやのひまをなみもらぬしぐれにぬるるそでかな
| tabinesuru koya no shinoya no hima o nami moranu shigure ni nururu sode kana | Dozing on my journey In Koya, beneath dwarf-bamboo thatch, No gaps has it, so No drips fall from the showers, yet Still my sleeves are soaked! |
Kunisuke
61
Right
しぐれつつものぞかなしきわすれぐさまくらにむすぶきしのたびねは
| shiguretsutsu mono zo kanashiki wasuregusa makura ni musubu kishi no tabine wa | In the ever-falling showers, I am sad, indeed, so Of forgetful day-lily My pillow will I weave, Napping on my travels by the coast… |
Horikawa
62
The Left’s poem is not bad in configuration and diction, but I would have preferred it had it said ‘no drips fall from the showers, too, yet’. As for the Right, saying that one is napping on one’s travels on the coast at Sumiyoshi, having woven a pillow from forgetful day-lilies does, indeed, sound evocative, but it would have been more so had there been a reason for the reference to day-lilies earlier in the poem. These tie, don’t they.
Round Five
Left (Win)
はれくもりしぐれするよはまつがねのまくらをえこそさだめざりけれ
| harekumori shiguresuru yo wa matsu ga ne no makura o e koso sadamezarikere | Clear then clouded With showers is the night, When pine roots do My pillow make I cannot decide at all…[1] |
Asamune
59
Right
かみなづきしぐるるよはのたびやかたもるとはなしにぬるるそでかな
| kaminazuki shigururu yowa no tabiyakata moru to wa nashi ni nururu sode kana | In the Godless Month Showers at midnight At traveller’s lodge Should drench me not, yet Soaked are my sleeves! [2] |
Kanetsuna
60
The style of both Left and Right sounds elegant. However, with regard to the Right’s poems, while I am well accustomed to hearing that one would not be drenched at a lodge, the combination of the diction of ‘showers’ and ‘soaked’ would have been better avoided. The conclusion of the Left, with ‘pine roots’ and sequencing sounds pleasant. Thus, the Left wins.
[1] Alluding to: Topic unknown. よひよひに枕さだめむ方もなしいかにねし夜か夢に見えけむ yoi yoi ni / makura sadamemu / kata mo nashi / ika ni neshi yo ka / yume ni miekemu ‘Night after night / To decide upon my pillow / I cannot do, at all / How can I sleep the night away / And see you in my dreams?’ Anonymous (KKS XI: 516)
[2] Alluding to: Composed in place of an islander from Ulleungdo. 故郷有母秋風涙 旅館無人暮雨魂 kokyō ni haha ari aki no kaze no namida / ryokan ni hito nashi bō no Tamashii ‘My mother lies in my ancient home; my tears overflow with the autumn wind, as / Alone in my traveller’s lodgings, the rain at dusk draws out my soul.’ Tamenori (Shinsen rōeishū 606)
