After a certain lady had set off up to the capital, I composed these and, attaching them to a letter, had it sent to her.
夜をさむみひとりね覚の床さえてわが衣手に霜ぞ置きける
yo o samumi hitori nezame no toko saete wa ga koromode ni shimo zo okikeru
Chill the night, so On waking alone My bed is frozen, and On my sleeves Frost has fallen, indeed![i]
597
[i] See: Topic unknown. 夜をさむみねざめてきけばをしぞなく払ひもあへず霜やおくらん yo o samumi / nezamete kikeba / oshi zo naku / harai mo aezu / shimo ya okuran ‘Chill the night and / On waking, I hear / A mandarin drake a’crying / For he cannot brush away / The fallen frost, it seems.’ Anonymous (Gosenshū VIII: 478)
sode makura shimo oku toko no koke no ue ni akasu bakari no sayo no nakayama
With my sleeve for my pillow, and Frost falling on my bed Atop the moss, Swiftly breaks the dawn At Sayo-no-Nakayama.[i]
582
[i] See: On a storm at one’s lodgings on a journey, for the Iwashimizu Poetry Match. 岩がねのとこに嵐をかたしきてひとりやねなんさよの中山 iwa ga ne no / toko ni arashi o / katashikite / hitori ya nenan / sayo no Nakayama ‘At the crags’ foot / Lies my bed with the storm wind / Alone, spread upon me— / Lonely, must I sleep? / At Sayo-no-Nakayama…’ Lord Ari’ie (Shinkokinshū X: 962)
tabi no sora narenu hanyū no yoru no toko wabishiki made ni moru shigure kana
Beneath a journey’s skies With unfamiliar mud walls Around my bed tonight, Sad and lonely have I become With the shower dripping through![i]
581
[i] See: On disembarking. 旅のそらはにふのこやのいぶせさにふるさといかにこひしかるらん tabi no sora / hanyū no koya no / ibusesa ni / furusato ika ni / koishikaruran ‘Beneath a journey’s skies / Within a mud hut and / Filled with gloom / For my ancient home how much / I do seem to long…’ Captain of the Third Rank Shigehira (Heike monogatari 85)
itama yori nezame no toko ni moru tsuki o koishiki hito to omowamashikaba
Between the boards, Waking me in my bed Drips moonlight— The man I love If only it did more than bring to mind…
Lord Dainagon 29
Right
くれはどりふたむらやまをきて見ればめもあやにこそ月も見えけれ
kurehadori futamurayama o kite mireba me mo aya ni koso tsuki mo miekere
When the weave of twilight Upon Futamura Mountain One comes to see, Another pattern fills the eye— Bright moonlight.
Lord Chūnagon 30
The poem of the Left has an extremely refined configuration, but is lacking much of a conception of the moon, and has a much greater one of love. The poem of the Right has a moving conception, but it is about scarlet leaves that one says ‘another pattern fills the eye’. There have been no compositions to date utilizing this about the moon. As both poems have dubious elements, I feel they are of the same quality.
I must say that the initial section of the poem of the Left, ‘between the boards’, is something that not even the poets of bygone days placed at the beginning of their poems. I would say that such expressions as ‘between the boards of a ruined house’ sound blended, implying that the appearance within is fine. Perhaps the poet mistook this? In addition, I do not feel that this is a moon poem, and would have to say that it’s a love one. It really is very odd, isn’t it—suddenly including a love poem here. The poem of the Right has nothing about it worth mentioning, yet it appears to be a moon poem superficially. There’s nothing for it but, faced with the poem of the Left, which beats the hastiest of hasty retreats and ignores the essential meaning of the topic, but to make it the winner!
shigure moru tabine no toko wa hanazome no tamoto zo saki ni mazu kaerikeru
A shower drips upon me As I doze upon my journey-bed; Blossom-dyed, My sleeves, before me, Have first returned to what they were!
Masahira 75
Right (Win)
はなれゆくみやこをおもふひとりねのなみだをさそふはつしぐれかな
hanareyuku miyako o omou hitorine no namida o sasou hatsushigure kana
Distant has grown The capital, but it fills my thoughts, Sleeping solo, My tears invited by The first shower!
Chikashige 76
The configuration of the Left’s poem appears charming, but it would have sounded more so had there been a reason why ‘my sleeves, before’ had returned to the capital on the journey. The diction and conception of the Right’s poem, beginning with ‘distant has grown’ and leading to ‘tears invited’, is extremely pleasant. It seems the Right wins.
kari no io wa sosoku shigure mo tomaraneba tsuyuwakegoromo hoshi zo kanetsuru
Upon my crude hut, Dripping, the showers, too, Never cease, so My dew-soaked garb To dry is impossible!
Kyō 71
Right
さらぬだにたびねのとこはつゆけきにいかにせよとてうちしぐるらむ
saranu dani tabine no toko wa tsuyukeki ni ika ni seyo tote uchishigururamu
Even ‘twere not to be, My journey-bed is Drenched with dew, so What am I to do, Beneath these falling showers?
Suehiro 72
The Left has ‘dripping, the showers, too’, while the Right has ‘what am I to do’ and so forth—while neither of these is poor in terms of conception and diction, the initial section of the Right sounds extremely commonplace, thus the Left’s conception of agonizing over the being unable to dry dew-soaked garb is slightly superior in the current context.
