おのづからさびしくもあるか山ふかみ草のいほりの雪の夕ぐれ
| onozukara sabishiku mo aru ka yama fukami kusa no iori no yuki no yūgure | All by itself Lonely sadness comes upon me Deep within the mountains In a hut of grass On a snowy evening… |
375
Tag Archives: hut
Kinkai wakashū 374
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 10
Round Ten
Left (T – Tie)
波よする蜑の苫やのひまをあらみもるにてぞしるよはのしぐれは
| nami yosuru ama no tomaya no hima o arami moru nite zo shiru yowa no shigure wa | Waves break near A sedge-thatched hut’s Crude gaps The leaks reveal A midnight shower… |
Lord Tadafusa
19
Right (M – Win)
ゆふ月よいるさの山の高根よりはるかにめぐる初しぐれかな
| yūzukuyo irusa no yama no takane yori haruka ni meguru hatsushigure kana | On a moonlit night From Irusa Mountain’s High peak In the distance circles A first shower! |
Lord Kanemasa
20
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, the shower sounds chilly! A shower is not something that one hears after getting up at dawn, yet this poem says that one first gets to know about it from the leaks, it seems that the poet has gone to bed, been leaked on, had his garments soaked and then got up and made a fuss. If he has not been leaked upon is this something he heard from someone else the following day? It really is very unclear. There’s a poem ‘Together with me / On my mountain pilgrimage’ which refers to showers falling on this mountain. The poem here refers to the same peak, so it sounds as if it’s referring to monks going around. Is that what it’s about? I am not just finding fault for the sake of it—these poems are unclear. As there’s only so much that can be understood from hearing them, they should tie.
Mototoshi states: one can compose about a shower falling anywhere and there’s no need to bring up a fisherman’s sedge-thatch hut, is there! Furthermore, one gets to know about a shower from the sound of it falling constantly on something like a roof of cedar boards, surely? Would one really be startled by rain of varying intensity falling soundlessly in spring? As for the poem of the Right, while it does not display a playfulness which would please the eye, ‘In the distance circles / A first shower’ is a bit better in the current context.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 49
Round Twenty-Four
Left (Win)
かぜのおとにわきぞかねましまつがねのまくらにもらぬしぐれなりせば
| kaze no oto ni waki zo kanemashi matsu ga ne no makura ni moranu shigure nariseba | The gusts of wind I cannot tell apart from The rustle of the pines roots For my pillow should no drips From the shower fall… |
Lord Sanefusa
97
Right
たびのいほはあらしにたぐふよこしぐれしばのかこひにとまらざりけり
| tabi no io wa arashi ni taguu yoko shigure shiba no kakoi ni tomarazarikeri | My traveller’s hut Is lashed by the storm wind’s Sideways showers— The brushwood walls Halt it not at all. |
Lord Yorimasa
98
The conception and configuration of the poem of the Left, starting ‘I cannot tell apart from / The rustle of the pines’ and continuing ‘For my pillow should no drips / From the shower fall’ is, once again, truly exceptional! As for the poem of the Right, while it appears to have a charming style and use of diction, even if it is the case that ‘sideways showers’ are a genuine phenomenon, it fails to sound particularly elegant, doesn’t it. In addition, the latter section of the poem, ‘the brushwood walls’, feels slightly lacking in conception. Thus, I make the Left the winner.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 48
Round Twenty-Three
Left (Win)
もしほぐさしきつのうらのねざめにはしぐれにのみやそではぬれける
| moshiogusa shikitsu no ura no nezame ni wa shigure ni nomi ya sode wa nurekeru | Salt-seaweed grasses grow On the beach at Shikitsu where On waking is it By the showers alone That my sleeves have dampened? |
Dharma Master Shun’e
95
Right
たびねにははにふのこやのいたびさししぐれのするぞさやにきこゆる
| tabine ni wa hanyū no koya no itabisashi shigure no suru zo saya ni kikoyuru | Sleeping on my travels On an ochre clay hut’s Veranda boards The falling of a shower Sounds striking! |
Lord Sanekuni
96
The Left’s ‘Salt-seaweed grasses grow / On the beach at Shikitsu’ is certainly particularly charming, and really what one should say. The concluding section’s ‘By the showers alone?’, too, does not seem simplistic in conception and diction. As for the Right, while it is not the case that at ‘an ochre clay hut’s…a shower..would sound striking’ has no point to it, the Left’s poem is particularly pleasant. Thus, it wins.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 46
Round Twenty-One
Left (Tie)
かきくもりたびねのいほにしぐれしてつゆけさまさるくさまくらかな
| kakikumori tabine no io ni shigureshite tsuyukesa masaru kusamakura kana | Clouds claw in above The hut where I doze upon my travels, and Showers fall— Dew-drenched, above all, is My grassy pillow! |
Lord Shigenori
91
Right
まばらなるいほよりもりてむらしぐれをりしくならのはにぞおとする
| mabara naru io yori morite murashigure orishiku nara no ha ni zo otosuru | Leaky is My hut, so dripping through come The cloudbursts; Plucked and spread the oak Leaves make such a sound! |
Lord Morikata
92
The Left sounds very straightforward. The Right appears heart-rendingly desolate, but I wonder if it isn’t a bit excessive to go so far as the poet reclining on spread oak leaves which are making a sound due to the shower dripping through the hut’s roof? Then again, the Left’s latter section appears to contain little feeling, so comparing the two poems’ together, they should tie, I feel.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 44
Round Nineteen
Left (Win)
くさまくらおなじたびねのそでにまたよはのしぐれもやどはかりけり
| kusamakura onaji tabine no sode ni mata yowa no shigure mo yado wa karikeri | Needing a grassy pillow When travelling just the same as I, dozing I find my sleeves drenched even more, For the midnight shower, too, Has found lodging. |
Kojijū
87
Right
いほりさすやまぢはすぎぬはつしぐれふるさとまでやめぐりゆくらむ
| iori sasu yamaji wa suginu hatsushigure furusato made ya meguriyukuramu | I put up my hut Upon the mountain path that you passed by, O, first shower! As far as my ancient home I wonder, will you make your way? |
Lord Sanemori
88
The poem of the Left, saying ‘When travelling just the same as I dozing, / I find my sleeves drenched even more’ and then following this with ‘For the midnight shower, too, / Has found lodging’, has an extremely charming conception and configuration. In addition to the poem of the Right also having a charming conception, it begins with ‘O, first shower!’ and then continues, ‘As far as my ancient home’, which is an effective use of diction. Nevertheless, the conception of the Left’s poem is even better and it wins.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 43
Round Eighteen
Left (Tie)
なにはがたあしのまろやのたびねにはしぐれはのきのしづくにぞしる
| naniwagata ashi no maroya no tabine ni wa shigure wa noki no shizuku ni zo shiru | In Naniwa’s tidelands, In a reed-roofed hut, Dozing on my travels— A shower by the eaves Dripping droplets is revealed! |
Lord Tsunemori
85
Right
つのくにのこやのたびねにしぐれしてなにかはもらむあしのやへぶき
| tsu no kuni no koya no tabine ni shigureshite nani ka wa moramu ashi no yaebuki | In the land of Tsu In Koya, in a hut dozing on my travels During a shower— Will anything drip through My roof’s eightfold thatch? |
Lord Yorisuke
86
Both Left and Right are set in a traveller’s lodge in Sesshū province, but the Left appears to lack configuration and conception, it has long been said that using four of the character in a poem in a poetry match is a fault, but it does not sound to me as if the four uses of no here are a particular problem. With that being said, starting with ‘dozing on my travels’ [tabine ni wa]and then having ‘a shower by the eaves’ [shigure ni wa] uses wa twice and this seems to sound a bit discordant. The Right, while it refers to the same sort of shower from a cloudless sky, starts with ‘during a shower’ and follows this with ‘will anything drip through?’, which seems to sound a bit contradictory. I can’t help but feel it would have been better had it been ‘even though it showers’ and then had ‘will anything’. However, both poems are about reed roofed huts during a shower and it really is difficult to distinguish between them. Thus, I make this a tie.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 42
Round Seventeen
Left (Win)
こよひしもあやにくにふるしぐれかなまばらにさせるしばのいほりに
| koyoi shimo ayaniku ni furu shigure kana mabara ni saseru shiba no iori ni | Of all nights How unfortunate it is that falls A shower! Upon my crudely erected Brushwood hut! |
Lord Kinshige
83
Right
くさまくらつゆけきたびのくれはとりあやにくにまたしぐれふるなり
| kusamakura tsuyukeki tabi no kurehatori akaniku ni mata shigure furu nari | My grassy pillow is Dew-drenched on my travels At Kurehatori—the weaver’s town! How warped that still A shower falls here! |
Enjitsu
84
Both Left and Right have their showers falling unfortunately, and the poem of the Right starts with ‘Kurehatori’ and continues with ‘warped’ which sounds charming, but to mention ‘dew-drenched travels’ and follow this with Kurehatori give a somewhat unexpected impression. The Left lacks anything as individual as Kurehatori’s warp, but ‘crudely erected’ is a direct description and, thus I could make the Left the winner.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 37
Round Twelve
Left
しぐれにはいほりもささじくさまくらおときくとてもぬれぬそでかは
| shigure ni wa iori mo sasaji kusamakura oto kiku tote mo nurenu sode ka wa | Caught in a shower, I’d not erect my hut, for Upon a grassy pillow Listening to the sound, still Would my sleeves be soaked! |
Tsunemasa
73
Right (Win)
たまもふくいそやがしたにもるしぐれたびねのそでもしほたれよとや
| tamamo fuku isoya ga shita ni moru shigure tabine no sode mo shiotareyo to ya | Thatched with gemweed is My roof upon the rocky shore, beneath it Drips a shower, so My sleeves, as I doze upon my travels, Wet with the salty tides – should I say that? |
Nakatsuna
74
The Left wonders whether his sleeves would be soaked, listening to the sound of a shower after abandoning all thought of a hut and grassy pillow—this seems extremely charming, but the configuration and sequencing of the Right, beginning with ‘thatched with gemweed’ and continuing with ‘my sleeves, as I doze upon my travels, / Wet with salty tides’, is extremely moving, isn’t it! Thus I have to award a win, once more, to the poem of the Right.
