Frost at a journey’s lodging
袖まくら霜おくとこの苔のうへにあかすばかりのさよの中やま
| sode makura shimo oku toko no koke no ue ni akasu bakari no sayo no nakayama | With my sleeve for my pillow, and Frost falling on my bed Atop the moss, Swiftly breaks the dawn At Sayo-no-Nakayama.[i] |
582
[i] See: On a storm at one’s lodgings on a journey, for the Iwashimizu Poetry Match. 岩がねのとこに嵐をかたしきてひとりやねなんさよの中山 iwa ga ne no / toko ni arashi o / katashikite / hitori ya nenan / sayo no Nakayama ‘At the crags’ foot / Lies my bed with the storm wind / Alone, spread upon me— / Lonely, must I sleep? / At Sayo-no-Nakayama…’ Lord Ari’ie (Shinkokinshū X: 962)
Left (Win).
枕にも跡にも露の玉散りてひとり起きゐる小夜の中山
| makura ni mo ato ni mo tsuyu no tama chirite hitori oki’iru sayo no naka yama |
Upon my pillow and My foot prints both, dew Drops have fallen Awakening alone in Sayo-no-Nakayama. |
A Servant Girl
889
Right.
草枕ひとりあかしの浦風にいとゞ涙ぞ落ちまさりける
| kusamakura hitori akashi no ura kaze ni itodo namida zo ochimasarikeru |
Pillowed on the grass, Alone at dawn in Akashi, The breeze from the bay Makes even more tears Fall. |
Lord Tsune’ie.
890
The Right state they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem is ‘old-fashioned’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dew drops’ (tsuyu no tama) falling so widely at Sayo-no-Nakayama one can surmise to be deeply expressive of the concept of travel. The Right’s Akashi Bay is a place strongly associated with the sad sound of the wind and the waves, but the final ‘makes even more fall’ (ochimasarikeru) is insufficient. Thus, the Left should win.
