Tag Archives: coast

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 32

Round Seven

Left (Tie)

きしちかみたびねのとこをうつなみのかへるひまにぞしぐれとはしる

kishi chikami
tabine no toko o
utsu nami no
kaeru hima ni zo
shigure to wa shiru
Close by the coast
My journey’s bed is
Struck by waves;
In the space as they withdraw,
I know that showers are falling.

Dharma Master Yūsei
63

Right

しばのとをたたくあらしのおとにまたしぐれうちそふたびのよはかな

shiba no to o
tataku arashi no
oto ni mata
shigure uchisou
tabi no yowa kana
Upon my brushwood door
The storm wind came a’knocking;
The sound then
Laced with showers,
At midnight on my travels!

Norimori
64

In the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the shower is continuing to fall quietly, yet it then appears to have the conception that one knows the showers are falling in the gaps between the waves breaking. In the Right’s poem, ‘The storm wind came a’knocking; / The sound then’ sounds charming, but I do wonder about how it looks to have lines beginning beginning with both ‘brushwood door’ [shiba no to] and ‘showers’ [shigure]. Thus, again, these tie.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 31

Round Six

Left (Tie)

たびねするこやのしのやのひまをなみもらぬしぐれにぬるるそでかな

tabinesuru
koya no shinoya no
hima o nami
moranu shigure ni
nururu sode kana
Dozing on my journey
In Koya, beneath dwarf-bamboo thatch,
No gaps has it, so
No drips fall from the showers, yet
Still my sleeves are soaked!

Kunisuke
61

Right

しぐれつつものぞかなしきわすれぐさまくらにむすぶきしのたびねは

shiguretsutsu
mono zo kanashiki
wasuregusa
makura ni musubu
kishi no tabine wa
In the ever-falling showers,
I am sad, indeed, so
Of forgetful day-lily
My pillow will I weave,
Napping on my travels by the coast…

Horikawa
62

The Left’s poem is not bad in configuration and diction, but I would have preferred it had it said ‘no drips fall from the showers, too, yet’. As for the Right, saying that one is napping on one’s travels on the coast at Sumiyoshi, having woven a pillow from forgetful day-lilies does, indeed, sound evocative, but it would have been more so had there been a reason for the reference to day-lilies earlier in the poem. These tie, don’t they.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 09

Round Nine

Left

すみのえのこほりとみゆる月かげにとけやしぬらむかみのこころも

suminoe no
kōri to miyuru
tsukikage ni
toke ya shinuramu
kami no kokoro mo
At Suminoe
As ice appears
The moonlight, but
Is not, perhaps, melted
Even the deity’s heart?

Lord Fujiwara no Kinshige
Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[1]
17

Right (Win)

すみよしのおまへのきしのまつのはもかずかくれなくみゆる月かげ

sumiyoshi no
omae no kishi no
matsu no ha mo
kazu kakurenaku
miyuru tsukikage
At Sumiyoshi
On the coast before the shrine
Even the pine needles
Cannot hide their numbers,
Appearing in the moonlight.

Venerable Dharma Eye Enjitsu[2]
18

While in the Left ‘ice appears’ and ‘is not, perhaps, melted’ seem to have some kind of linkage, if we consider this as a Cathay-style poem saying ‘A chill night’s moon / Ice atop the swell’, then I would have preferred it to say ‘is, perhaps, bound’. An alternative version of this would, of course, be ‘A spring morn’s breeze / Ice on the eastern shore’ which could lead to ‘is not, perhaps, melted’, I think. The Right has ‘On the coast before the shrine / Even the pine needles’ and through this type of linkage expresses the brightness of the moon. While this type of smug-sounding expression also appeared in the round before last, the moon here does seem bright and so I can say that the Right wins.


[1] San’i shōyon’ige Fujiwara ason Kinshige 散位正四位下藤原朝臣公重

[2] Hōgen kashōi Enjitsu 法眼和尚位円実