uchishigure mono sabishikaru ashi no ya no koya no nezame ni miyako koishi mo
A slight shower is All the more lonely In a reed-roofed Hut in Koya, starting awake and Longing for the capital more…
Lord Sanesada 99
Right
あはれにもよはにすぐなるしぐれかななれもやたびのそらにいでつる
aware ni mo yowa ni sugu naru shigure kana nare mo ya tabi no sora ni idetsuru
How sad is At midnight a passing Shower! Have you, too, on a journey Into the skies departed?
Lord Toshinari 100
The configuration of the Left’s poem, beginning with ‘All the more lonely’ and concluding with ‘Longing for the capital more’, has already penetrated the boundaries of mystery and depth. It sounds particularly pleasant. The poem of the Right is the judge’s own meagre work. Thus, in accordance with precedent I shall refrain from rendering a judgement.
naniwagata ashi no maroya no tabine ni wa shigure wa noki no shizuku ni zo shiru
In Naniwa’s tidelands, In a reed-roofed hut, Dozing on my travels— A shower by the eaves Dripping droplets is revealed!
Lord Tsunemori 85
Right
つのくにのこやのたびねにしぐれしてなにかはもらむあしのやへぶき
tsu no kuni no koya no tabine ni shigureshite nani ka wa moramu ashi no yaebuki
In the land of Tsu In Koya, in a hut dozing on my travels During a shower— Will anything drip through My roof’s eightfold thatch?
Lord Yorisuke 86
Both Left and Right are set in a traveller’s lodge in Sesshū province, but the Left appears to lack configuration and conception, it has long been said that using four of the character in a poem in a poetry match is a fault, but it does not sound to me as if the four uses of no here are a particular problem. With that being said, starting with ‘dozing on my travels’ [tabine ni wa]and then having ‘a shower by the eaves’ [shigure ni wa] uses wa twice and this seems to sound a bit discordant. The Right, while it refers to the same sort of shower from a cloudless sky, starts with ‘during a shower’ and follows this with ‘will anything drip through?’, which seems to sound a bit contradictory. I can’t help but feel it would have been better had it been ‘even though it showers’ and then had ‘will anything’. However, both poems are about reed roofed huts during a shower and it really is difficult to distinguish between them. Thus, I make this a tie.
tabinesuru koya no shinoya no hima o nami moranu shigure ni nururu sode kana
Dozing on my journey In Koya, beneath dwarf-bamboo thatch, No gaps has it, so No drips fall from the showers, yet Still my sleeves are soaked!
Kunisuke 61
Right
しぐれつつものぞかなしきわすれぐさまくらにむすぶきしのたびねは
shiguretsutsu mono zo kanashiki wasuregusa makura ni musubu kishi no tabine wa
In the ever-falling showers, I am sad, indeed, so Of forgetful day-lily My pillow will I weave, Napping on my travels by the coast…
Horikawa 62
The Left’s poem is not bad in configuration and diction, but I would have preferred it had it said ‘no drips fall from the showers, too, yet’. As for the Right, saying that one is napping on one’s travels on the coast at Sumiyoshi, having woven a pillow from forgetful day-lilies does, indeed, sound evocative, but it would have been more so had there been a reason for the reference to day-lilies earlier in the poem. These tie, don’t they.
The Right say that the Left’s poem, ‘suggests heat haze only occurs at Koya in Tsu,’ while the Left say, ‘what are we to make of phrasing such as “like” (tomogao ni)?’, obliquely suggesting that it’s inappropriate poetic diction.
Shunzei says simply that, ‘the purport of both sides’ comments about both poems is apposite,’ and makes the round a tie.
