On seeing the salt fires of fisherfolk, when I had gone out to the beach.
いつもかくさびしきものかあしのやに焼きすさびたるあまのもしほ火
itsumo kaku sabishiki mono ka ashi no ya ni keburi susabitaru ama no moshiobi
Are they always such Lonely things? Above the roofs of reeds Thin trails of smoke From fishers’ seaweed salt fires…[i]
700
[i] See: いつもかくさびしきものかつの国のあし屋の里の秋の夕暮 itsumo kaku / sabishiki mono ka / tsu no kuni no / ashiya no sato no / aki no yūgure ‘Are they always such / Lonely things? / In the land of Tsu, / Reed-roofed villages / On an autumn evening…’ Ietaka (Rōnyaku gojusshu uta’awase 497)
naniwagata migiwa no ashi no itsu made ka ho ni idezu shimo aki o shinoban
In Naniwa’s tidelands, By the waterside reeds How long must I Refrain from bursting out, and Repress the surfeit of it?[i]
563
[i] See: When the heart of a woman whom he had been visiting frequently showed no sign of melting, he sent this to her to say that months and years had passed and they were still in such a state. なにはがたみぎはのあしのおいがよに怨みてぞふる人の心を naniwagata/ migiwa no ashi no / oi ga yo ni / uramite zo furu / hito no kokoro o ‘In Naniwa’s tidelands / By the waterside the reeds / Growing old within this world / How I despise the passing time– / And your hard heart…’ Anonymous (Gosenshū XVI: 1170)
furu yuki ni yama no hosomichi uzumorete mare ni toikoshi hito mo kayowazu
With the falling snow The mountain’s narrow pathways Are buried; But rarely did he visit and now Cannot make his way at all.
Cell of Fragrant Cloud 53
Right
あしたつるみわのひばらにゆきふかみみやぎひくをのかよひぢもなし
ashi tatsuru miwa no hibara ni yuki fukami miyagi hiku o no kayoiji mo nashi
Reeds stand tall in Miwa, where the cypress groves Are deep with snow; To cut sacred timber, the woodsman Has no path to tread at all.
Cell of Compassionate Light 54
The Left’s poem, in terms of style and diction, entirely grasps the way someone might feel. What a sense of grief! The Right’s poem is composition that fairly drips and delves into playfulness, but in so doing lacks feeling. Truly, the former poem has superlative qualities, resembling a black dragon’s pearl![i] Thus, the Left must win.
The Left does seem to have been composed but simply stated. It possesses a calm elegance. The Right seems to have been created after a great deal of thought. This poem shows effort and the former such calm that I wish to declare them a tie. This may enrage the poets, but the ignorant may give the appearance of being knowledgeable, as they say. I wonder who composed these…
[i]Riju 驪珠 as an abbreviation of riryū no tama 驪龍の珠 (‘black dragon’s pearl’). Mototoshi uses this analogy deliberately as black dragons were associated with winter. The pearl, which they were often depicted as holding or being located in their throat, was a symbol of the dragon’s spiritual development and a marker of its immortality. This is thus an effusive statement of praise for Shōchō’s poem.
yo ni sumedo hito shirenu mi ya shiorisuru miyamagakure no tani no shitamizu
Dwelling within this world, yet No one knows that ‘tis as if I Were marking a trail Hidden deep within the mountains To waters flowing on the valley floor…
Hiromori 131
Right
あしからむなにはのことはかねてよりちかくてまもれすみよしのかみ
ashikaramu naniwa no koto wa kanete yori chikakute mamore sumiyoshi no kami
Reaping reeds, should ill fortune come From Naniwa, in all things Just in case Ward me closely O, God of Sumiyoshi!
Dharma Master Chikyō
132
The poem of the Right here, while it does draw on ‘reaping reeds at Naniwa’, in its phrasing sounds prosaic. As the Left’s ‘waters flowing on the valley floor’ seems to flow smoothly off the tongue, it wins.
