雲雀上がる飛火野原に我一人野も狭に咲ける菫をず摘む
hibari agaru tobuhino hara ni ware hitori nomose ni sakeru sumire o zo tsumu |
Skylarks soar above Tobuhi Plain, where All alone, I – Blooming everywhere – The violets do pick. |
Fujiwara no Nakazane
藤原仲実
Left (Tie).
津の國のこやのわたりのながめには遊ぶ糸さへひまなかりけり
tsu no kuni no koya no watari no nagame ni wa asobu ito sae hima nakarikeri |
In the land of Tsu, When out from Koya I turn my gaze, Even the wavering hazes Seem to take no rest. |
97
Right (Tie).
春來ればなびく柳のともがほに空にまがふや遊ぶいとゆふ
haru kureba nabiku yanagi no tomogao ni sora ni magau ya asobu ito yū |
When the spring is come, Fluttering willow fronds’ Like, In the skies can be perceived: Wavering hazes. |
98
The Right say that the Left’s poem, ‘suggests heat haze only occurs at Koya in Tsu,’ while the Left say, ‘what are we to make of phrasing such as “like” (tomogao ni)?’, obliquely suggesting that it’s inappropriate poetic diction.
Shunzei says simply that, ‘the purport of both sides’ comments about both poems is apposite,’ and makes the round a tie.
Left.
春日には空にのみこそあがるめれ雲雀の床は荒れやしぬらん
haru hi ni wa sora ni nomi koso agarumere hibari no toko wa are ya shinuran |
The springtime sun Alone, into the skies Does seem to lift The skylark: his nest, I wonder, if ‘tis in disarray? |
95
Right (Win).
子を思ふすだちの小野を朝行ばあがりもやらず雲雀鳴也
ko o omou sudachi no ono o asa yukeba agari mo yarazu hibari nakunari |
Caring for her chick, Starting from the nest into the meadow, With the coming of the morn, Without taking flight, The skylark gives call. |
96
The Right team state that the initial and central stanzas of the Left’s poem are ‘grating on the ear’, while the Left snap back that they ‘don’t understand the meaning’ of ‘caring for her chick, starting from the nest’ (ko o omou sudachi), and moreover, having both ‘starting from the nest’ (sudachi) and ‘take flight’ (agari) in one poem is clumsy technique as the meanings are too similar.
Shunzei judges that the initial stanza of the Left’s poem is ‘truly awful’. And, ‘in general, from what we know of how skylarks live, there is no reason to expect that they would heedlessly fly off after fouling their nests. In spring, they raise their young in the fields, and when the evenings are warm, or the spring sun is bright, they remain flying in the sky and look down on their chicks from above. They are birds which swoop and soar. Thus, one cannot say that they heedlessly foul their nests. The Right is in keeping with the skylark’s nature, and in form the poem also appropriately poetic, but because of the distance of the first stanza from the last, it is possible that one might not grasp the sense of the poem on first hearing. “Starting from the nest” (sudachi) and “take flight” (agari) are, though, too similar. However, as the Left’s poem has an unpleasant line, and is contrary to the essence of skylarks, despite its faults, the Right’s poem must win.’
Left (Tie).
はるばると荻の燒原立ひばり霞のうちに聲あがるなり
harubaru to ogi no yakehara tatsu hibari kasumi no uchi ni koe agarunari |
Into the distance, far, The silver-grass plain is aflame; A skylark takes flight, and From within the haze, its Song soars. |
93
Right (Tie).
春深き野邊の霞の下風に吹かれてあがる夕雲雀哉
haru fukaki nobe no kasumi no shita kaze ni fukarete agaru yū hibari kana |
Now is the height of spring, and Haze lies o’er the plains; The breeze beneath Gusts, lifting A skylark, at eventide. |
94
The Right have no comments to make about the Left’s poem, but the Left say they are ‘unused to hearing’ the expression ‘breeze beneath the haze’ (kasumi no shita kaze), and then continue to ask, facetiously, ‘Do you mean to say that skylarks don’t soar without a breeze?’ The Right reply that, ‘when the wind is blowing gently, it appears as if the bird is lifted by it – that is the scene.’
Shunzei states that Left’s poem, with its essence of the skylark’s call emerging from the haze is ‘truly charming’. He did ‘wonder’ about the Right’s essence of the bird being lifted by the breeze, can see the scene of a gentle ‘breeze beneath the haze across the plains’ (nobe no kasumi no shita kaze), and is attracted by both sides’ poems. Thus, there are no winners or losers this round.
Left (Win).
片岡の霞も深き木隱れに朝日待つまの雲雀鳴くなり
kataoka no kasumi mo fukaki kogakure ni asahi matsu ma no hibari nakunari |
At Kataoka The haze is deep upon The shade of the concealing trees; Awaiting dawn’s first light, A skylark sings. |
91
Right.
野邊見ればあがる雲雀も今はとて淺茅に落つる夕暮の空
nobe mireba agaru hibari mo ima wa tote asaji ni otsuru yūgure no sora |
Looking out across the plain, A soaring skylark Seizes the second To plunge among the cogon-grass From the evening sky. |
92
Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem.
Shunzei states that, ‘Left and Right deal with the skylark at morning and evening respectively. Both poems are alike in content, yet the Right’s poem conveys a particularly desolate feeling. Why should this be? Once more, the Left is the victor.’ Commentators are divided as to whether in this judgement he is suggesting that loneliness is an inappropriate emotion to convey in a skylark-themed poem, or whether, knowing that the Left’s poem was composed by Fujiwara no Yoshitsune, the host of the competition and the highest-ranking person present, he is simply flattering a powerful man’s work.
Left (Win).
住みなるゝ床を雲雀のあくがれて行衛も知らぬ雲に入ぬる
suminaruru toko o hibari no akugarete yukue mo shiranu kumo ni irinuru |
His marital Bed, the skylark Has left, and Within the drifting Clouds has vanished |
89
Right.
見わたせば燒野の草は枯れにけり飛び立つ雲雀寢床定めよ
miwataseba yakino no kusa wa karenikeri tobitatsu hibari nedoko sadameyo |
Looking out, The stubble-burned fields’ grasses Are all withered: O, skylark, flying forth, Find your bed, somewhere! |
90
The Right state that they would have preferred it if the Left’s poem had been phrased ‘the skylark’s bed’ (hibari no toko), rather than ‘bed, the skylark’ (toko o hibari no), which essentially is an argument in favour of avoiding the non-standard grammatical pattern of Direct Object-Subject. The Left’s criticism of the Right is on the grounds of content, saying, ‘Is it not the case that in a “stubble-burned field” (yakino) there would be nothing to “wither”? If something is burned, there is nothing left.’
Shunzei states that he finds it ‘difficult to agree’ with the Right’s criticism of the Left’s poem, and then goes on to state that ‘the stubble-burned fields’ grasses are all withered’ must mean either that they were burned after withering; or, that they withered after sprouting afresh following a burn. Though he does not say so explicitly, neither would be appropriate in a Spring poem, so ‘the Left must win.’
Left (Win).
冬枯れの芝生が下に住みしかど春は雲ゐにあがる雲雀か
fuyugare no shibafu ga shita ni sumishikado haru wa kumoi ni agaru hibari ka |
Winter-burned The greensward, and beneath it Dwelling, yet With springtime to the skies Ascending, ‘tis the skylark. |
87
Right.
雲雀あがる春の燒野の末遠み都のかたは霞なりけり
hibari agaru haru no yakeno no sue tōmi miyako no kata wa kasumi narikeri |
Skylarks soar above The springtime stubble burned fields; To the distance far Towards the capital, all With haze is covered. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
88
The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘would probably be better’ without the final ka (the use of this particle, marking rhetorical tone, was considered old-fashioned by the time the poem was written, and this old-fashioned air is what the Right are criticising). The Left reply that the final two stanzas of the Right’s poem ‘are not effective’, probably suggesting that the poem implies the capital is on fire, rather than simply being concealed by smoke from stubble-burning.
Shunzei merely remarks that the Left’s criticisms are ‘apposite, in general’ and awards them the victory.
Left (Win).
末遠き若葉の芝生うちなびき雲雀鳴野の春の夕暮
sue tōki wakaba no shibafu uchinabiki hibari naku no no haru no yūgure |
To the distance far The growing greensward Stretches; Skylarks singing o’er the plain In the springtime evening. |
85
Right.
雲に入るそなたの聲をながむれば雲雀落ち來る明ぼのゝ空
kumo ni iru sonata no koe no nagamureba hibari ochikuru akebono no sora |
From within the clouds Comes song: thither Staring, Skylarks swooping Through the skies at dawn. |
86
The Right team question what it is that the greensward ‘streams’ (nabiku) towards, while the Left say that starting with ‘within the clouds’ (kumo ni iru) is ‘somewhat abrupt’.
Shunzei comments of the Right’s question, ‘whatever it streams towards, in truth, from point of view of form, it should not stream at all,’ meaning that there’s no need to use the expression at all in the poem. As for the Right’s poem, somewhat facetiously, he says, ‘what is “within the clouds” is, most likely a ball, and while gazing “thither at their song”, one would think that, no doubt, the skylark, too, would soon come swooping down, but one would have to stop staring in order to catch it!’ In addition, ‘wouldn’t it be to dark at dawn to distinguish a skylark?’ So, ‘Skylarks singing o’er the plain/In the springtime evening’ should be the winner.