tsuki kiyomi nagamuru hito no kokoro sae kumoi ni sumeru aki no yowa kana
The moon, so pure, that Gazing folk feel Their very hearts Clearly in the heavens On an autumn midnight!
Lord Shige’ie 49
Right
のこるべきかきねの雪は先消えてほかはつもるとみゆる月かな
nokorubeki kakine no yuki wa mazu kiete hoka wa tsumoru to miyuru tsuki kana
It should be lingering On my brushwood fence, but the snow First vanishes, then Piling up elsewhere Appears moonlight!
Lord Yorimasa 50
The Left seems extremely commonplace, and simply ending ‘autumn midnight’ feels incomplete. As for the Right, what does it mean to say that ‘the snow upon my brushwood fence first vanishes’? Might it mean that because of the fence’s shadow, the moon’s light cannot be seen? It really sounds as if the poet has gone too far in his quest for unusual expressions. Then there’s ‘piling up elsewhere’ along with ‘autumn midnight’—neither of these sound superior, so it’s impossible to say which poem is.
wa ga yado no kakine ni sakeru unohana no uki koto shigeki yo ni koso arikere
At my house Upon the brushwood fence bloom Deutzia flowers— Sad things, alone, grow well Indeed, in this world of ours! [i]
[i] An allusive variation on: On blossom. うぐひすのかよふかきねのうのはなのうきことあれやきみがきまさぬ uguisu no / kayou kakine no / unohana no / uki koto are ya / kimi ga kimasanu ‘The warbler / Flits around my brushwood fence’s / Deutzia blooms— / Is there some sad event which / Stops my Lord from coming?’ Anonymous (MYS X: 1988).
