Moon

Round One

Left (Tie)

月きよみながむる人の心さへ雲井にすめる秋の夜はかな

tsuki kiyomi nagamuru hito no kokoro sae kumoi ni sumeru aki no yowa kana

The moon, so pure, that Gazing folk feel Their very hearts Clearly in the heavens On an autumn midnight!

Lord Shige’ie
49

Right

のこるべきかきねの雪は先消えてほかはつもるとみゆる月かな

nokorubeki kakine no yuki wa mazu kiete hoka wa tsumoru to miyuru tsuki kana

It should be lingering On my brushwood fence, but the snow First vanishes, then Piling up elsewhere Appears moonlight!

Lord Yorimasa
50

The Left seems extremely commonplace, and simply ending ‘autumn midnight’ feels incomplete. As for the Right, what does it mean to say that ‘the snow upon my brushwood fence first vanishes’? Might it mean that because of the fence’s shadow, the moon’s light cannot be seen? It really sounds as if the poet has gone too far in his quest for unusual expressions. Then there’s ‘piling up elsewhere’ along with ‘autumn midnight’—neither of these sound superior, so it’s impossible to say which poem is.