Tag Archives: mate

Nishinomiya uta’awase 06

Round Six

Left

雲かかる高志のやまの明暮に妻まどはせるを鹿鳴くなり

kumo kakaru
takashi no yama no
akegure ni
tsuma madowaseru
oshika naku nari
All hung about with cloud
On Takashi Mountain
In the gloaming
Having lost his mate
A stag bells out.

Nakamasa
11

Right

山がつの先あかつきをしりがほに裾野に出でて鹿ぞ鳴くなる

yamagatsu no
mazu akatsuki o
shirigao ni
susono ni idete
shika zo naku naru
A mountain man
First of all, that ‘tis dawn
Knows plain upon his face,
As he sets out upon the slopes
As a stag bells out!

Head
12

The Left poem’s conclusion, ‘Having lost his mate / A stag bells out’ seems no different from that of a poem by Gō no Jijū in poetry match held by the First Princess.[1] As for the poem of the Right’s ‘A mountain man / Awaits the dawn / Knowing plain upon his face’—what on earth might a mountain man look like while waiting for dawn? There is the tale of Hangu Pass in Cathay, where the barrier guard was waiting for dawn and opened the gate after hearing a cock’s crow, but the expression ‘a mountain man awaits the dawn’ has never appeared before in a poem—either one of Cathay or in the words of Yamato, so I feel that both Left and Right lack any superlative qualities.


[1] Stags. をぐら山たちどもみえぬゆふぎりにつままどはせるしかぞなくなる ogurayama / tachidomo mienu / yūgiri ni / tsuma madowaseru / shika zo nakunaru ‘On gloomy Ogura Mountain / Stands unseen / Among the evening mists / Having lost his mate / A belling stag.’ (Yūshi naishinnō-ke uta’awase eishō go-nen 27). This event was held at the residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko (Yūshi) on the 5th day of the Sixth Month, Eishō 5 [26.10.1050]. The poem won its round, and was later included in Goshūishū (IV: 292).

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 24

Round Twelve

Left (Tie)

あらし吹くまくずが原に鳴く鹿は恨みてのみや妻をこふらん

arashi fuku
makuzu ga hara ni
naku shika wa
uramite nomi ya
tsuma o kouran
Storm winds blow
Across the arrowroot upon the plain
Where bells a stag—
Might it be with bitterness, alone, that
He yearns for a mate?

Shun’e
47

Right

山里は妻こひかぬる鹿の音にさもあらぬ我もねられざりけり

yamazato wa
tsuma koikanuru
shika no ne ni
sa mo aranu ware mo
nerarezarikeri
In a mountain retreat,
Filled with too much yearning for his mate
A stag bells out—
‘Tis not true of me, yet
Still I cannot sleep.

Lay Priest Master
48

The Left’s stag’s bell seeming to despise the arrowroot field and the Right’s inability to sleep on hearing a stag belling at a mountain retreat are both evocative of lonely sadness and neither sounds at all inferior to the other in the depths of the emotion they convey, so I find myself quite unable to distinguish between them.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 22

Round Ten

Left (Tie)

夜もすがら妻こふるまにさをしかのめさへあはでや鳴きあかすらん

yomosugara
tsuma kouru ma ni
saoshika no
me sae awade ya
naki’akasuran
All night long,
Yearning for his mate,
Does the stag
Fail to close his eyes,
Belling until the dawn?

Mikawa
43

Right

独のみみねのをしかのなくこゑにあはれ吹きそふ風の音かな

hitori nomi
mine no oshika no
naku koe ni
aware fukisou
kaze no oto kana
A single, solitary,
Stag from the peak
Belling out
Laces sadness into the gusting
Sound of the wind!

Kojijū
44

The Left’s ‘fail to close his eyes’ is a commonly utilised viewpoint, while the Right’s ‘lacing sadness into the gusts’ is unsatisfactory—simply ‘laced’ would be preferable. Nevertheless, neither of these are particularly significant faults, so these should tie.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 21

Round Nine

Left (Tie)

秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubite ya
tsuma koikanete
shika no fusuran
The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
Has he woven—is that why
Unable to love his mate
The stag seems to lie?

Koreyuki
41

Right

妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ

tsuma kouru
aki ni shi nareba
saoshika no
toko no yama tote
uchi mo fusareji
He yearns for his mate
In autumn, above all, so
In the stag’s
Bed among the mountains
He cannot lay him down, it seems.

Arifusa
42

The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:

秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubu yo wa
chikaku mo shika no
koe o kiku kana
The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
I weave tonight—
Close by, truly, a stag’s
Bell I hear! [1]

While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.


[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 20

Round Eight

Left

やまかぜにしほるる野べの草むらのねやさむしとや鹿の鳴くらん

yamakaze ni
shioruru nobe no
kusamura no
neya samushi to ya
shika no nakuran
The mountain wind
Withers the meadow’s
Clumps of grasses—
Is it his chilly bedchamber
That makes the stag cry out?

Moromitsu
39

Right (Win)

あはれとはねらふさつをも思ふらんをしか妻どふ秋の夕ぐれ

aware to wa
nerau satsuo mo
omouran
oshika tsumadobu
aki no yūgure
‘How sad,’
The aiming hunter, too,
Seems to think, as
The stag searches for his mate
On an autumn evening…

Lay Priest Sanekiyo
40

The Left shows no technique from beginning to end, compounded by the fact that, while ‘although the stag does lie’ is a common expression in poetry, ‘bedchamber’ is something I am unaccustomed to hearing. As for the Right, ‘aiming hunter’ is distasteful to hear, but the poem is not bad overall, so it wins.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 19

Round Seven

Left (Tie)

草がくれ見えぬをしかも妻こふる声をばえこそ忍ばざりけれ

kusagakure
mienu oshika mo
tsuma kouru
koe oba e koso
shinobazarikere
Hidden by the grasses,
Unseen, the stag, too
Longing for his mate,
His bell, indeed, is unable
To conceal!

Lord Yorimasa
37

Right

秋の野の花のたもとに置く露や妻よぶしかの涙なるらむ

aki no no no
hana no tamoto ni
oku tsuyu ya
tsuma yobu shika no
namida naruramu
In the autumn meadows,
Upon the blossoms’ sleeves
Are the fallen dewdrops
The stag—calling for his mate—
Letting tears fall?

Narinaka
38

The Left is novel, and the Right charming, respectively. The Right’s poem does have a large number of identical syllables—while this is criticized in the Code of the Creation of Poetry as a ‘whole body fault’, it is not the case that poems containing this defect have not appeared in poetry matches from time to time, and I don’t feel it’s necessary to examine whether there are a large number of similar cases here: such things are simply a style of poetry.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 18

Round Six

Left

草枯のふしどさびしく成りゆけばしかこそ妻もこひしかるらめ

kusakare no
fushido sabishiku
nariyukeba
shika koso tsuma mo
koishikarurame
Among the withered grasses
He lies down, yet into lonely sadness
Does he sink, so
The stag his mate
Seems to long for all the more…

Suketaka
35

Right (Win)

さをしかの声しきるなりみよしののいさかた山に妻やこもれる

saoshika no
koe shikiru nari
miyoshino no
isakatayama ni
tsuma ya komoreru
The stag’s
Bell rends my heart—
In fair Yoshino
On Mount Isakata
Is his mate secluded.

Tōren
36

I don’t believe I have heard a prior instance of the Right’s ‘Isakata Mountain’, have I? In addition, there doesn’t seem to be any reason for its use here. In general, it’s preferable to compose using terms which are familiar. As for the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the stag only cares for his mate when the grasses are withered, but implying that grass only withers in the Ninth and Tenth Months is at variance with the actual period when it happens, isn’t it? Moreover, it is dubious to compose pivoting around the topic—and doing this has been stated to be undesirable in poetry matches. Indeed, I recall that in the Poetry Match at the Palace in the Fields, when someone composed pivoting on ‘maidenflower’, the judge criticized it, saying, ‘it is mangling the words of our land to compose in this manner.’ Thus, although the poem does have a freshness about it, the Right must win, I think.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 15

Round Three

Left (Win)

たれよりも秋のあはれやまさるらん声にたてては鹿ぞ鳴くなる

tare yori mo
aki no aware ya
masaruran
koe ni tatete wa
shika zo nakunaru
Who might it be that
The sadness of autumn
Strikes more keenly?
Lifting up his voice,
It is the stag crying out!

Lord Yorisuke
29

Right

春夏はなにに心をなぐさめて秋のみ鹿の妻をこふらん

haru natsu wa
nani ni kokoro o
nagusamete
aki nomi shika no
tsuma o kouran
Spring and summer, too,
How do they the heart
Console?
‘Tis in autumn, alone, the stag
Seems to yearn for his mate.

Kenshō
30

The Left charmingly sounds as if the scene it describes is entirely natural. The Right isn’t bad, but, I seem to recall that there was a poem in—I think it was the Poetry Match at Lord Aritsuna’s Residence—that has the phrase ‘In autumn, above all, / The stag seems to yearn for his mate’, so it would have better to refrain from the final two lines. The Left should win.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 14

Round Two

Left (Win)

ふく風も身にしむ秋の夕ぐれに哀をそふる鹿のこゑかな

fuku kaze mo
mi ni shimu aki no
yūgure ni
aware o souru
shika no koe kana
The gusting wind
Pierces my flesh on an autumn
Evening, as
Sadness laces
The stag’s cry!

Lord Michyoshi
27

Right

妻こふるさ夜ふけがたの鹿のねに声うちそへて秋風ぞ吹く

tsuma kouru
sayo fukegata no
shika no ne ni
koe uchisoete
akikaze zo fuku
Yearning for his mate as
Brief night wears on,
A stag’s cry
Is voiced, lacing
The gusting autumn wind.

Tamechika
28

Both Left and Right have the same overall content, but the Left’s ‘yearning for his mate as / Brief night wears on’ reverses the appropriate order of the diction: it would be preferable to say ‘Brief night wears on as / Yearning for his mate’. The Left has no such issues and so it should win.