akihagi no tsuyu mo yosuga no sagariba mo kaze fukitatsuru iro zo mi ni shimu
On the autumn bush clover Dewdrops rest upon The dangling leaves, Whipped up by the wind, Their hues sharply sink into my flesh.
The Former Minister of the Centre 51
Right (Win)
さだめなき風を待つ間もうつろひぬもとあらの萩にむすぶ白露
sadamenaki kaze o matsu ma mo utsuroinu motoara no hagi ni musubu shiratsuyu
While the unsettled Breeze they do await, Faded from The sparse bush clover have The clinging dewdrops.[1]
Kozaishō 52
The Left poem’s ‘rest upon the dangling leaves, whipped up by the wind’ seems a novel style, and yet, even though everything about dangling leaves is contained in the Ancient and Modern, it does not sound particularly evocative. The Right lacks even a small fault and appears gorgeous, so it should win.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 宮木野のもとあらの小萩つゆをおもみ風をまつごと君をこそまつ miyagino no / motoara no kohagi / tsuyu o omomi / kaze o matsu goto / kimi o koso matsu ‘On Miyagi Plain / The sparse bush clover / Weighed down with dewdrops / Awaits the wind, just as / I do wait for you…’ Anonymous (KKS XIV: 694)
iwanuma no shitahau ashi no ne o shigemi himanaki koi o kimi shirurame ya
Silently beneath the marsh rocks Creep the reeds’ Roots in such profusion, Not a space free from love, but Does my lady know, I wonder?
A Court Lady 53
Right
身をつみて思ひや知るとこころみにながためつらき人もあらなん
mi o tsumite omoi ya shiru to kokoromi ni na ga tame tsuraki hito mo aranan
Pinching flesh, Would you know passion’s fire? To test it, I wish For you there was a cruel One, too…
Lord Masakane 54
Toshiyori states: the first poem is extremely charming. It seems to have no faults to mention. In the second poem, ‘For you there was a cruel one’ would be something quite impolite if said by a woman. Court ladies may lose their composure, yet they still appear to speak with dignity. In the absence of a prior poem as precedent, the first poem should win, I think.
Mototoshi states: this poem seems to have no faults to mention, and of the two, ‘beneath creep the reeds’ seems a bit more gently refined at present.
mizukuki no okabe no makuzu kareshi yori mi o akikaze no fukanu hi wa nashi
Since on Mizukuki Hillside the fair kudzu Has withered, distant has he become, The autumn wind upon my flesh, that he is done with me, Strikes me not on any day at all.
