Round Eight
Left
やまかぜにしほるる野べの草むらのねやさむしとや鹿の鳴くらん
| yamakaze ni shioruru nobe no kusamura no neya samushi to ya shika no nakuran | The mountain wind Withers the meadow’s Clumps of grasses— Is it his chilly bedchamber That makes the stag cry out? |
Moromitsu
39
Right (Win)
あはれとはねらふさつをも思ふらんをしか妻どふ秋の夕ぐれ
| aware to wa nerau satsuo mo omouran oshika tsumadobu aki no yūgure | ‘How sad,’ The aiming hunter, too, Seems to think, as The stag searches for his mate On an autumn evening… |
Lay Priest Sanekiyo
40
The Left shows no technique from beginning to end, compounded by the fact that, while ‘although the stag does lie’ is a common expression in poetry, ‘bedchamber’ is something I am unaccustomed to hearing. As for the Right, ‘aiming hunter’ is distasteful to hear, but the poem is not bad overall, so it wins.
