雨ふれど猶もえわたる早蕨や春のやくののしるしなるらん
| ame furedo nao moewataru sawarabi ya haruno yakuno no shirushi naruran | The rain has fallen, yet Still smouldering into bud Is fresh bracken that The plains in spring are burnt A sign, perhaps? |
[Minamoto no] Morotoki 師時
Tag Archives: shirushi
Kinkai wakashū 643
Kinkai wakashū 642
SZS XVIII: 1178
Eien narabō uta’awase 24
Round Three
Left
おぼつかないづれいづちのみちならむしをりも見えずふれるしらゆき
| obotsukana izure izuchi no michi naramu shiori mo miezu fureru shirayuki | How strange! Which is which Path, I wonder? Even the laden branches go unseen In the falling snow, so white. |
Retired from the World
47
Right
雪ふかみとなりのさともうづもれてけぶりのみこそしるしなりけれ
| yuki fukami tonari no sato mo uzumorete keburi nomi koso shirushi narikere | So deep the snow, that The estate next door Is buried; Trails of smoke are the only Sign it’s there! |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
48
The poem of the Left’s ‘even the laden branches go unseen’ and what follows is both poetic and a familiar usage. As for the Right’s poem, how can ‘the estate next door be buried’ unless it’s the only place that snow is falling and nowhere else? Thus, I feel that the snow falling to conceal the broken branches has more feeling to it.
The Left’s ‘which path’ gives me the impression that there are many of them. This sense of multiplicity is something I can imagine—which is a good thing—and, I think, see me using myself. ‘Laden branches’ are something which occur on peaks deep in the mountains. It might be a bit remiss of me, but I wonder whether I can imagine snow drifting so high on a mountain peak?
As for the Right’s poem, we use ‘next door’ when there’s a fence of some sort between one estate and another, don’t we? As such, saying that the smoke is the sign is rather vague. Even if there’s been a quite extraordinary snowfall, there would be something other to notice as well as the smoke, so this is an error, isn’t it. It would be acceptable to refer to smoke if the estate were further away.
Eien narabō uta’awase 23
Round Two
Left
ゆきふればしるしのすぎもはなさきてみわの山べもいかがたづねむ
| yuki fureba shirushi no sugi mo hana sakite miwa no yamabe mo ikaga tazunemu | When the snow has fallen, The symbolic cedars, too, Bloom with blossom— To Miwa’s mountainside How might I make my way? |
Lord Saburō
45
Right (Win)
しらゆきにふるの山みちうづもれてたどるばかりになりもゆくかな
| shirayuki ni furu no yamamichi uzumorete tadoru bakari ni nari mo yuku kana | In snow, so white, Furu’s ancient mountain paths Are buried, so Simply I must feel my way As I go along! |
Ushigimi
46
The Left’s poem is an entirely transparent adaptation of an earlier work. This poem is:
ふる雪に印の杉もうづもれていづこなるらむ三輪の山本
| furu yuki ni shirushi no sugi mo uzumorete izuko naruruamu miwa no yamamoto | In the falling snow, Even the symbolic cedars Are buried Where might be Miwa mountain’s foot?[i] |
The Right’s poem has nothing of interest about it, nor does it have any faults to indicate. Thus, there are insufficient grounds for judgement.
The Left’s poem follows the conception of a poem which appeared in the Kaya Palace Poetry Match.[ii] Although this is an earlier work, truly, it’s not that good, and so this poem doesn’t seem that superlative. Why couldn’t one visit if blossom has simply bloomed? The former poem says it would be difficult to get there because it’s buried in snow. The Right’s poem isn’t that good, but it seems better than the Left, so it should win.
[i] The source of this poem is unclear, however,
[ii] Snow. ふるゆきにすぎのあをばもうづもれてしるしも見えずみわのやまもと furu yuki ni / sugi no aoba mo / uzumorete / shirushi mo miezu / miwa no yamamoto ‘In the falling snow / The green cedar needles / Are buried, so / The symbol goes unseen, / Of Miwa mountain’s foot.’ Lady Settsu (Kaya no in shichiban uta’awase 55). This poetry match, Kaya no in shichiban uta’awase 高陽院七番歌合 (‘Seven Round Poetry Match held at the Kaya Palace’), was sponsored by Fujiwara no Morozane 藤原師実 (1042-1101) and held on the 19th day of the Eighth Month, Kahō 1 [1.10.1094]. The judge, Minamoto no Tsunenobu 源経信 (1016-1097), approved of this poem, saying it was ‘extremely charming’. It was later included in Kin’yōshū (IV: 285), with the headnote, ‘Composed on the conception of snow at the Poetry Match held at the Residence of the Former Uji Chancellor’.
Kenpō meisho hyakushu 161
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 21
Round Nine
Left (M – Tie)
秋くれて千草の花は残らねど独うつろふ白菊のはな
| aki kurete chigusa no hana wa nokoranedo hitori utsurou shiragiku no hana | Autumn sinks to twilight, and Of a thousand blossoms Not one lingers, save Alone and fading A white chrysanthemum bloom. |
Lord Shigemoto
41
Right (T – Win)
かぎりなく君が千代経むしるしにや散残るらん宿のしらぎく
| kagirinaku kimi ga chiyo hemu shirushi ni ya chirinokoruran yado no shiragiku | That endless through A thousand ages will my Lord pass A sign there is: Not scattering and lingering White chrysanthemums at his house! |
Lord Tadataka
42
Toshiyori states: I don’t have much to point out about the poem on ‘autumn sinking to twilight’, except that it could have had ‘indeed, linger’ in place of ‘not one lingers, yet’ to lead to ‘alone and fading’. As for the second poem, there are no other examples of saying ‘chrysanthemums scatter’, yet I do wonder about how this sounds? Nevertheless, it has a conception of Felicitation and this makes it somehow superior.
Mototoshi states: the poems of Left and Right are of the same standard in both conception and diction, so it’s not possible to tell them apart. These, too, are of the same quality.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 69
Round Nineteen
Left (Win)
やはらぐるひかりをたのむしるしにはこむよのやみをてらさざらめや
| yawaraguru hikari o tanomu shirushi ni wa komu yo no yami o terasazarame ya | The God has dimmed His light, but rely on it As a sign, I will, that In the darkness of the world to come He will surely shine… |
Dharma Master Yūsei
137
Right
かみにわれたのみをかけてまつなればすみよしにこそみをばやどさめ
| kami ni ware tanomi o kakete matsu nareba sumiyoshi ni koso mi oba yadosame | In the God, I Place my trust, and Await, with the pines, so At Sumiyoshi, surely, Will I make my lodging! |
Norimori
138
The Left’s poem does not have a particularly remarkable conception, but with that being said, while its flow appears smooth, the expression of its core sentiment is, indeed, moving. As for the poem of the Right, while ‘Place my trust, and / Await, with the pines, so’ seems charming, the elevated tone of the Left is slightly superior, I think.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 58
Round Eight
Left
よのなかをうみわたりつつとしへぬることはつもりのかみやたすけむ
| yo no naka o umiwataritsutsu toshi henuru koto wa tsumori no kami ya tasukemu | In this mundane world, An endless sea of suffering, Have my years gone by; Might Tsumori’s Deity save me, I wonder? |
Dharma Master Shun’e
115
Right (Win)
いへのかぜわがみのうへにすずしかれかみのしるしをあふぐとならば
| ie no kaze wa ga mi no ue ni suzushikare kami no shirushi o augu to naraba | My house’s breeze of fortune To my sorry self I would bring cool, if For a sign from the God I were to seek… |
Lord Sanekuni
116
The Left’s conception is charming, beginning with ‘An endless sea of suffering’ and following this with ‘Might Tsumori’s / Deity save me, I wonder?’, but ‘endless sea of suffering’ does not sound like acceptable diction. The Right’s conception of ‘For a sign from the God / I were to seek’ sounds charming, so I make it the winner.
