八幡山木だかき松にゐるたづのはね白妙にみ雪ふるらし
| yahatayama kodakaki matsu ni iru tazu no hane shirotae ni miyuki fururashi | On Yahata Mountain’s Pines, so tall, Rest cranes with Wings white as mulberry cloth Seeming dusted with fallen snow. |
624
Tag Archives: white
Eien narabō uta’awase 28
Round Seven
Left (Win)
しらゆきのふりしきぬればかづらきやくめのいはばしそことしられず
| shirayuki no furishikinureba kazuraki ya kume no iwabashi soko to shirarezu | Snow, so white Has fallen, scattering Upon Kazuraki, that The broken stone bridge of Kume Is there no one knows at all. |
Lady Kazusa
55
Right
まきもくのあなしひばらもうづもれてかかるみゆきもふればふりけり
| makimoku no anashi hibara no uzumorete kakaru miyuki mo fureba furikeri | In Makimoku Anashi’s cypress groves Are buried, Such a fair fall of snow Has there been. |
Lady Shikibu
56
The Left has neither positives nor negatives. Up to ‘the broken stone bridge of Kume’ shows some imagination. It feels overly remote. The Right’s ‘Anshi’s cypress groves’ is something I’ve not encountered in a poem before. The standard usage is ‘cypress groves of Anashi’. Compared to this, I feel the expression is more unsatisfactory. ‘Such a fair fall of snow / Has there been’ is surprising, too, and not something I’m accustomed to seeing, so the Left seems a bit better at present.
The Left does not appear to have any significant faults. ‘That’ in ‘upon Kazuraki, that’ sounds a bit distant. If you’re talking about a bridge, you should say that you can see across it, shouldn’t you. It is a bridge which it’s impossible to cross, so that’s difficult to say. The Right’s expression ‘Anashi’s cypress groves’ is pedestrian so I would have preferred it omitted. In addition, the final ‘has there been’ feels commonplace. A win for the Left, perhaps.
Kinkai wakashū 525
Fubokushō XXIX: 13961
From the Poetry Match held by Tsurayuki in the Second Month. Tengyō 2 – The Middle of Winter.
しら雪の降りつもりぬるおく山はあからがしはもうづもれにけり
| shirayuki no furitsumorinuru okuyama wa akaragashiwa uzumorenikeri | Snow, so white, Has fallen, drifted high, Deep within the mountains The scarlet-leaved oaks Are completely buried. |
Anonymous
Kenpō meisho hyakushu 163
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 23
Round Eleven
Left (Both Judges – Tie)
こけのむす岩ねに残る八重ぎくはや千代さくとも君ぞみるべき
| koke no musu iwane ni nokoru yaegiku wa yachiyo saku tomo kimi zo mirubeki | Choked with moss are The crags where linger Eightfold chrysanthemums: E’en were they eight thousand ages a’bloom My Lord would have beheld them, no doubt! |
Lady Shinano
45
Right
霜がれに我ひとりとや白菊の色をかへても人にみすらん
| shimogare ni ware hitori to ya shiragiku no iro o kaetemo hito ni misuran | ‘Burned by frost ‘Tis me alone!’ thinks A white chrysanthemum, Changing hue To show to folk, for sure. |
Lord Tokimasa
46
Toshiyori states: I wonder if there is a poem as precedent for chrysanthemums lingering beneath moss-covered crags? If not, it’s a very crude expression. The ending of the poem is antiquated, too. As for the second poem ‘“Tis me alone!” thinks’ does not sound satisfactory. The assembled company settled the matter of the final ‘folk’, so I must make this a tie.
Mototoshi states: whether they are placed by a brushwood fence, or at the base of a crag, chrysanthemums feel like pines. As for the Right, having a chrysanthemum seem to think ‘‘tis me alone’ is speculative—had it been something like ‘this bloom opens’ then it would have been the poet’s thoughts. Neither of these is of quality to win or lose, so I make them a tie.
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 21
Round Nine
Left (M – Tie)
秋くれて千草の花は残らねど独うつろふ白菊のはな
| aki kurete chigusa no hana wa nokoranedo hitori utsurou shiragiku no hana | Autumn sinks to twilight, and Of a thousand blossoms Not one lingers, save Alone and fading A white chrysanthemum bloom. |
Lord Shigemoto
41
Right (T – Win)
かぎりなく君が千代経むしるしにや散残るらん宿のしらぎく
| kagirinaku kimi ga chiyo hemu shirushi ni ya chirinokoruran yado no shiragiku | That endless through A thousand ages will my Lord pass A sign there is: Not scattering and lingering White chrysanthemums at his house! |
Lord Tadataka
42
Toshiyori states: I don’t have much to point out about the poem on ‘autumn sinking to twilight’, except that it could have had ‘indeed, linger’ in place of ‘not one lingers, yet’ to lead to ‘alone and fading’. As for the second poem, there are no other examples of saying ‘chrysanthemums scatter’, yet I do wonder about how this sounds? Nevertheless, it has a conception of Felicitation and this makes it somehow superior.
Mototoshi states: the poems of Left and Right are of the same standard in both conception and diction, so it’s not possible to tell them apart. These, too, are of the same quality.
Kinkai wakashū 469
Kinkai wakashū 442
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 20
Round Eight
Left (T – Win; M – Tie)
冬枯にうつろひ残る白菊はうは葉に置ける霜かとぞみる
| fuyugare ni utsuroi nokoru shiragiku wa uwaba ni okeru shimo ka to zo miru | Sere in winter, Faded and lingering A white chrysanthemum as, Fallen upon its upper leaves, Frost does appear, perhaps? |
Lord Morikata
39
Right
露じもの暁置きのあさごとに移ひまさるしらぎくの花
| tsuyujimo no akatsuki oki no asa goto ni utsuroi masaru shiragiku no hana | Frosty dewdrops With the dawn fall—arising Every morning Fading fairer become The white chrysanthemum blooms. |
Lord Michitsune
40
Toshiyori states: I have the feeling that I have never heard the expression ‘sere in winter’, and I certainly have no recollection of it being in the Collection of a Myriad Leaves. The poem of the Right is smooth and extremely charming; I’m very familiar with the expression ‘dew fallen in the morning when I arise’, and here there seems to be some reason for it, doesn’t there! Still, the first poem is better.
Mototoshi states: the expression ‘faded and lingering’ is difficult to distinguish. In addition, saying ‘Fallen upon [the flower’s] upper leaves, / Frost’ is a severe misjudgment. The poem of the Right has the tautology ‘with the dawn fall’ and then ‘every morning’. Clearly neither of these appears to win or lose, so I make this a tie.
