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Eien narabō uta'awase

Eien narabō uta’awase 28

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Round Seven

Left (Win)

しらゆきのふりしきぬればかづらきやくめのいはばしそことしられず

shirayuki no
furishikinureba
kazuraki ya
kume no iwabashi
soko to shirarezu		Snow, so white
Has fallen, scattering
Upon Kazuraki, that
The broken stone bridge of Kume
Is there no one knows at all.

Lady Kazusa
55

Right

まきもくのあなしひばらもうづもれてかかるみゆきもふればふりけり

makimoku no
anashi hibara no
uzumorete
kakaru miyuki mo
fureba furikeri		In Makimoku
Anashi’s cypress groves
Are buried,
Such a fair fall of snow
Has there been.

Lady Shikibu
56

The Left has neither positives nor negatives. Up to ‘the broken stone bridge of Kume’ shows some imagination. It feels overly remote. The Right’s ‘Anshi’s cypress groves’ is something I’ve not encountered in a poem before. The standard usage is ‘cypress groves of Anashi’. Compared to this, I feel the expression is more unsatisfactory. ‘Such a fair fall of snow / Has there been’ is surprising, too, and not something I’m accustomed to seeing, so the Left seems a bit better at present.

The Left does not appear to have any significant faults. ‘That’ in ‘upon Kazuraki, that’ sounds a bit distant. If you’re talking about a bridge, you should say that you can see across it, shouldn’t you. It is a bridge which it’s impossible to cross, so that’s difficult to say. The Right’s expression ‘Anashi’s cypress groves’ is pedestrian so I would have preferred it omitted. In addition, the final ‘has there been’ feels commonplace. A win for the Left, perhaps.

Fubokushō, Tsurayuki uta'awase

Fubokushō XXIX: 13961

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From the Poetry Match held by Tsurayuki in the Second Month. Tengyō 2 – The Middle of Winter.

しら雪の降りつもりぬるおく山はあからがしはもうづもれにけり

shirayuki no
furitsumorinuru
okuyama wa
akaragashiwa
uzumorenikeri		Snow, so white,
Has fallen, drifted high,
Deep within the mountains
The scarlet-leaved oaks
Are completely buried.

Anonymous

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase gen’ei gan-nen jūgatsu futsuka

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 23

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Round Eleven

Left (Both Judges – Tie)

こけのむす岩ねに残る八重ぎくはや千代さくとも君ぞみるべき

koke no musu
iwane ni nokoru
yaegiku wa
yachiyo saku tomo
kimi zo mirubeki		Choked with moss are
The crags where linger
Eightfold chrysanthemums:
E’en were they eight thousand ages a’bloom
My Lord would have beheld them, no doubt!

Lady Shinano
45

Right

霜がれに我ひとりとや白菊の色をかへても人にみすらん

shimogare ni
ware hitori to ya
shiragiku no
iro o kaetemo
hito ni misuran		‘Burned by frost
‘Tis me alone!’ thinks
A white chrysanthemum,
Changing hue
To show to folk, for sure.

Lord Tokimasa
46

Toshiyori states: I wonder if there is a poem as precedent for chrysanthemums lingering beneath moss-covered crags? If not, it’s a very crude expression. The ending of the poem is antiquated, too. As for the second poem ‘“Tis me alone!” thinks’ does not sound satisfactory. The assembled company settled the matter of the final ‘folk’, so I must make this a tie.

Mototoshi states: whether they are placed by a brushwood fence, or at the base of a crag, chrysanthemums feel like pines. As for the Right, having a chrysanthemum seem to think ‘‘tis me alone’ is speculative—had it been something like ‘this bloom opens’ then it would have been the poet’s thoughts. Neither of these is of quality to win or lose, so I make them a tie.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase gen’ei gan-nen jūgatsu futsuka

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 21

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Round Nine

Left (M – Tie)

秋くれて千草の花は残らねど独うつろふ白菊のはな

aki kurete
chigusa no hana wa
nokoranedo
hitori utsurou
shiragiku no hana		Autumn sinks to twilight, and
Of a thousand blossoms
Not one lingers, save
Alone and fading
A white chrysanthemum bloom.

Lord Shigemoto
41

Right (T – Win)

かぎりなく君が千代経むしるしにや散残るらん宿のしらぎく

kagirinaku
kimi ga chiyo hemu
shirushi ni ya
chirinokoruran
yado no shiragiku		That endless through
A thousand ages will my Lord pass
A sign there is:
Not scattering and lingering
White chrysanthemums at his house!

Lord Tadataka
42

Toshiyori states: I don’t have much to point out about the poem on ‘autumn sinking to twilight’, except that it could have had ‘indeed, linger’ in place of ‘not one lingers, yet’ to lead to ‘alone and fading’. As for the second poem, there are no other examples of saying ‘chrysanthemums scatter’, yet I do wonder about how this sounds? Nevertheless, it has a conception of Felicitation and this makes it somehow superior.

Mototoshi states: the poems of Left and Right are of the same standard in both conception and diction, so it’s not possible to tell them apart. These, too, are of the same quality.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase gen’ei gan-nen jūgatsu futsuka

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 20

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Round Eight

Left (T – Win; M – Tie)

冬枯にうつろひ残る白菊はうは葉に置ける霜かとぞみる

fuyugare ni
utsuroi nokoru
shiragiku wa
uwaba ni okeru
shimo ka to zo miru		Sere in winter,
Faded and lingering
A white chrysanthemum as,
Fallen upon its upper leaves,
Frost does appear, perhaps?

Lord Morikata
39

Right

露じもの暁置きのあさごとに移ひまさるしらぎくの花

tsuyujimo no
akatsuki oki no
asa goto ni
utsuroi masaru
shiragiku no hana		Frosty dewdrops
With the dawn fall—arising
Every morning
Fading fairer become
The white chrysanthemum blooms.

Lord Michitsune
40

Toshiyori states: I have the feeling that I have never heard the expression ‘sere in winter’, and I certainly have no recollection of it being in the Collection of a Myriad Leaves. The poem of the Right is smooth and extremely charming; I’m very familiar with the expression ‘dew fallen in the morning when I arise’, and here there seems to be some reason for it, doesn’t there! Still, the first poem is better.

Mototoshi states: the expression ‘faded and lingering’ is difficult to distinguish. In addition, saying ‘Fallen upon [the flower’s] upper leaves, / Frost’ is a severe misjudgment. The poem of the Right has the tautology ‘with the dawn fall’ and then ‘every morning’. Clearly neither of these appears to win or lose, so I make this a tie.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase gen’ei gan-nen jūgatsu futsuka

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 19

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Round Seven

Left (M – Win)

霜がれの菊なかりせばいとどしく冬の籬やさびしからまし

shimogare no
kiku nakariseba
itodoshiku
fuyu no magaki ya
sabishikaramashi		Were frost-burned
Chrysanthemums there to be none, then
How much more
My brushwood fence in winter
Lonely would be…

Lord Sadanobu
37

Right (T – Win)

しも枯るるはじめをみずは白ぎくの移ふ色を惜まざらまし

shimogaruru
hajime o mizu wa
shiragiku no
utsurou iro o
osamazaramashi		Frost-burns
First sign I see not, so
The white chrysanthemum’s
Fading hues
Cause me no regret at all…

Lord Masamitsu
38

Toshiyori states: the assembled company asked how it can be possible that a brushwood fence in winter would not feel lonely after the chrysanthemums have withered, even granting that they are still there, and this is, of course, the case. In the depths of winter, one would not catch sight of any chrysanthemums. Although, it does sound as if you could could compose in this way, depending upon how early in the season it was. The second poem is of about the same quality, but I feel that I prefer it at the moment.

Mototoshi states: both poems are of the same quality, but ‘My brushwood fence in winter / Lonely would be’ really does make me realise that’s how it is.