ukiyo oba mata nani ni ka wa nagusamen hana ni sakidatsu inochi to mogana
In this cruel world Is there yet anything else To console me? Before the blossoms’ departure I would my life do the same…
Court Lady Taifu 15
Right
桜さく春の山風みねこせば雪ふりつもる谷のほそみち
sakura saku haru no yamakaze mine koseba yuki furitsumoru tani no hosomichi
When in cherry-blooming Spring, the mountain breezes Cross the peaks Snow falls and piles high Upon the narrow valley paths.
Moromitsu 16
Both poems are smooth, and on that basis, I would say that the Right is superior, but it has an archaic element, while the Left lacks anything unusual about it, so this is a tie of quality.
sakura saku yoshino no yama no yamakaze ni fumoto o komete hana niourashi
Cherries bloom In the mountains of Yoshino, where The mountain breezes Make even the foothills Aglow with blossom.
Tomoshige 31
Right (Win)
花の色はあまりにけりなつくばねのこのもかのもにかかる白雲
hana no iro wa amarinikeri na tsukubane no kono mo kano mo ni kakaru shirakumo
The blossoms’ hues Have overflowed[1] The peak of Tsukuba— Near and far, both, Draped with clouds of white.[2]
Dharma Master Zenshin 32
The Left’s poem has no faults worth mentioning and, furthermore, is not particularly remarkable. The Right’s poem refers to the peak of Tsukuba; while this is generally thought of as a mountain, it is not necessarily limited to mountains and there are, I think, a bunch of instances where it means a place with lots of trees; however, because here it also conveys the conception of mountains, from the use of pleasant poetic technique, the Right should win.
[1] Zenshin is clearly referencing Ono no Komachi’s famous: Topic unknown. 花の色はうつりにけりないたづらにわが身世にふるながめせしまに hana no iro wa / utsurinikeri na / itazura ni / wa ga mi yo ni furu / nagame seshi ma ni ‘The blossoms’ hues / Have already faded away, / While in idle thoughts / My life goes by, / As I watch the long rains fall.’ (KKS II: 113).
[2] An allusive variation on: Eastern poem: a poem from Hitachi. 筑波嶺のこのもかのもに影はあれど君がみかげにます陰はなし tsukuba ne no / kono mo kano mo ni / kage aredo / kimi ga mikage ni / masu kage wa nashi ‘On the peak of Tsukuba / Here and there / Lie shadows, yet / To your shadow, my love (my Lord) / They cannot compare!’ Anonymous (KKS XX: 1095).
yama takami midarete niou hanazakura hito mo susamenu haru ya henuran
In these mountain heights The riotous glow of Blooming cherries: Is there no one to sing their praises As spring passes by?[1]
Chikanari 29
Right
行末の山のかひより昨日みし雲もさながら桜なりけり
yukusue no yama no kai yori kinō mishi kumo mo sanagara sakura narikeri
On my way Through mountain passes Yesterday I saw Clouds of white—all were Cherries![2]
Ie’kiyo 30
The Right’s poem, having ‘mountain passes yesterday I saw’ sounds like it conveys the conception of Tsurayuki’s poem well, but isn’t it a bit pointless to end up with something that sounds like a Travel poem? The Left’s poem has the fine conception of the old poem which goes ‘In these mountain heights / There is no one to sing the praises of / You cherry blossoms’, so thus it must win.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 山たかみ人もすさめぬさくら花いたくなわびそ我みはやさむ yama takami / hito mo susamenu / sakurabana / itaku na wabi so / ware mihayasamu ‘In these mountain heights / There is no one to sing the praises of / You cherry blossoms. / Do not be aggrieved / For I will do it.’ Anonymous (KKS I: 50).
[2] An allusive variation on: When he was instructed by His Majesty to compose a poem, he composed this and presented it. 桜花さきにけらしもあしひきの山の峡よりみゆる白雲 sakurabana / sakinikerashi mo / ashihiki no / yama no kai yori / miyuru shirakumo ‘The cherry blossom / Seems to have bloomed, and from / The leg-wearying / Mountain passes / Appears white billowing clouds.’ Tsurayuki (KKS I: 59)
sakurabana sora ni amagiru shirakumo no tanabikiwataru kazuragi no yama
The cherry blossoms, As sky-sweeping Clouds of white Drape all across Kazuragi Mountain.
Takasuke 25
Right
さくらさくながらの山のながき日も昔をこひぬ時のまぞなき
sakura saku nagara no yama no nagaki hi mo mukashi o koinu toki no ma zo naki
The cherries bloom Changeless on Nagara Mountain; The lengthy days to Those beloved bygone Moments do not compare.
Shimotsuke 26
Neither Left nor Right has any faults worth mentioning. The Right’s poem appears tranquil, with an artless quality. It has a moving sensibility of longing for the past, but the Left’s poem should just about win, I think.
shirakumo no asa tatsu yama no karanishiki eda ni hito mura harukaze zo fuku
Clouds of white Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade In a single bunch upon the branch Blown by the breeze of spring! [1]
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie 21
Right (Win)
かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲
kazuragi ya mine no sakura no sakishi yori kokoro no sora ni kakaru shirakumo
Upon Kazuragi Peak, the cherries Have bloomed and ever since The heavens of my heart are Draped with clouds of white.
Lord Nobunari 22
The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.