shimogare ni utsuroinokoru muragiku wa miru asa goto ni mezurashiki kana
Burned by frost, Faded and lingering A cluster of chrysanthemums When I see them every morn Strikes me afresh!
Lord Toshitaka 47
Right (Both Judges – Win)
置くしものなからましかば菊のはな移ふ色をけふみましやは
oku shimo no nakaramashikaba kiku no hana utsurou iro o kyō mimashi ya wa
Fallen frost Were there none, then Chrysanthemum blooms Faded hues I would not see today…
Lord Tamezane 48
Toshiyori states: the first poem has nothing remarkable about it, apart from the undesirable use of ‘clustered chrysanthemums’. The second poem’s sense could be that when the frost has fallen, the chrysanthemum won’t display faded hues, but it is a mistake to link frost fall and being able to see them. However, if we interpret is as meaning it has fallen, so we can then view them for a long time, well, I can understand that, and will make it the winner.
Mototoshi states: this poem has no faults, but it does not appear to be a poem suited to a poetry match—it’s just rather dull. The poem of the Right, too, lacks anything worth pointing out and just says that the poet wants to gaze upon faded hues today—this seems a bit cliched, but I’d say it’s superior.
shimogare no kiku nakariseba itodoshiku fuyu no magaki ya sabishikaramashi
Were frost-burned Chrysanthemums there to be none, then How much more My brushwood fence in winter Lonely would be…
Lord Sadanobu 37
Right (T – Win)
しも枯るるはじめをみずは白ぎくの移ふ色を惜まざらまし
shimogaruru hajime o mizu wa shiragiku no utsurou iro o osamazaramashi
Frost-burns First sign I see not, so The white chrysanthemum’s Fading hues Cause me no regret at all…
Lord Masamitsu 38
Toshiyori states: the assembled company asked how it can be possible that a brushwood fence in winter would not feel lonely after the chrysanthemums have withered, even granting that they are still there, and this is, of course, the case. In the depths of winter, one would not catch sight of any chrysanthemums. Although, it does sound as if you could could compose in this way, depending upon how early in the season it was. The second poem is of about the same quality, but I feel that I prefer it at the moment.
Mototoshi states: both poems are of the same quality, but ‘My brushwood fence in winter / Lonely would be’ really does make me realise that’s how it is.
murasaki ni nioeru kiku wa yorozuyo no kazashi no tame ni shimo ya okitsuru
With violet Shine these chrysanthemums: That for ten thousand ages We might wear them in our hair— Is that why the frost has fallen?
Lady Kazusa 25
Right
おのづから残れる菊をはつ霜は我が置けばとぞおもふべらなる
onozukara nokoreru kiku o hatsushimo wa wa ga okeba to zo omouberanaru
Surely, Of the lingering chrysanthemums The first frost, ‘Tis because I’ve fallen!’ Seems to think!
Lord Toshiyori 26
Toshiyori states: while the first poem is not remarkable, it does sound smooth. The concluding ‘has fallen’, though—would it be excessive to say that I feel it’s a bit grating? In the second poem, the assembled company have stated that ‘seems to’ is something that they have never heard before in their lives and given that they have said that this is what it sounds like, I make the Left the winner.
Mototoshi states: ‘With violet / Shine these chrysanthemums’ sounds appropriately poetic, but saying ‘that…we might wear them in our hair’ followed by the final ‘has fallen’ is a sequencing that is, in great part, inharmonious and lacking in gentle beauty. Nevertheless, I feel that the second poem’s ‘Surely, / Of the lingering chrysanthemums’ and the final ‘seems to’ is so unfamiliar that it makes me wonder what is going on with the sequencing there, so a single dipping in violet dye is superior and, I feel, all the sweeter!
sumiyoshi to kikoyuru sato ni itowazu wa okidokoro naki mi o yadosaba ya
A pleasant place to live is Sumiyoshi’s Estate, or so I’ve heard, but If it provide no comfort, then My restless Self might it attract…
Lord Kinshige 103
Right
すぎていにしあきにおくれてしもがるるきくやわがみのたぐひなるらむ
sugite inishi aki ni okurete shimogaruru kiku ya wa ga mi no tagui naruramu
Past and gone is Autumn, but lingering, Frost-burned Chrysanthemums—is my sorry self Just like them, I wonder?
Enjitsu 104
Neither the poem of the Left, nor of the Right, sound as if they have any particular faults. Nevertheless, in the case of such poems the assessment varies depending upon the speaker. While the poem of the Left is, indeed, pitiful, it also sounds a bit crude. It would be elegant, I think, if it were a woman’s poem. As for the Right’s poem, if we take it as an expression of grief over orphanhood, then in the final analysis it’s charming as it matches the conception of a scion of a noble house picturing himself as the monarch of the flowers. Then again, we do have the poem by the Enkyū Third Prince:
うゑおきしきみもなきよにとしへたる花は我が身のここちこそすれ
ueokishi kimi mo naki yo ni toshi hetaru hana wa wa ga mi no kokochi koso sure
You planted them here, My Lord, though gone from this world, These many years past— The flowers and my sorry self Both feel the same…[1]
This would seem to be in the same vein. Given that the speaker of both poems is unclear, for the moment, these tie.
[1] Composed when viewing the blossom at the Enshūji and recalling former Emperor Gosanjō (KYS IX: 518).
