Left (Win)
寝るにこそ夢も見ゆらめさ夜衣返すは浅き思なりけり
| nuru ni koso yume mo miyurame sayogoromo kaesu wa asaki omoinarikeri |
Is it that I sleep That brings me dreams of her? Night robes Turned inside-out bring but shallow Feelings… |
Lord Kanemune
1125
Right
夢路まで憂き身の程はさ夜衣返すも猶や人知れぬ恋
| yumeji made uki mi no hodo wa sayogoromo kaesu mo nao ya hito shirenu koi |
Even on the path of dreams So pitiful is my lot; My night robe I reverse, yet Unknown is my love… |
Jakuren
1126
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘Is it that I sleep’ (nuru ni koso)? The Left state: the sense of the Right’s poem is difficult to grasp.
In judgement: both Gentlemen use ‘night robe’ (sayogoromo), and while the Left’s ‘sleep’ (nuru) is ordinary enough, I do wonder a little about the suitability of the initial ‘is it that I sleep’ (nuru ni koso), but it is certainly not the case that the conception of love in the poem is weak. The Right’s ‘I reverse, yet’ (kaesu mo nao ya) is elegant, but the poem’s conception certainly lacks clarity. Having a stronger conception of love, the Left wins.