Love IX: 23

Left (Win)
寝るにこそ夢も見ゆらめさ夜衣返すは浅き思なりけり

nuru ni koso
yume mo miyurame
sayogoromo
kaesu wa asaki
omoinarikeri
Is it that I sleep
That brings me dreams of her?
Night robes
Turned inside-out bring but shallow
Feelings…

Lord Kanemune
1125

Right
夢路まで憂き身の程はさ夜衣返すも猶や人知れぬ恋

yumeji made
uki mi no hodo wa
sayogoromo
kaesu mo nao ya
hito shirenu koi
Even on the path of dreams
So pitiful is my lot;
My night robe
I reverse, yet
Unknown is my love…

Jakuren
1126

The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘Is it that I sleep’ (nuru ni koso)? The Left state: the sense of the Right’s poem is difficult to grasp.

In judgement: both Gentlemen use ‘night robe’ (sayogoromo), and while the Left’s ‘sleep’ (nuru) is ordinary enough, I do wonder a little about the suitability of the initial ‘is it that I sleep’ (nuru ni koso), but it is certainly not the case that the conception of love in the poem is weak. The Right’s ‘I reverse, yet’ (kaesu mo nao ya) is elegant, but the poem’s conception certainly lacks clarity. Having a stronger conception of love, the Left wins.

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