Eien narabō uta’awase 02

Round Two

Left

をちこちのちるはなごとにたぐひつつ春はこころのあくがるるかな

ochikochi no
chiru hana goto ni
taguitsutsu
haru wa kokoro no
akugaruru kana
Here and there
Every single scattered blossom
Enthralls me;
Spring within my heart
I hold so dear.

Lord Saburō
3

Right (Win)

やまざくらひる見るいろのあかなくによるさへ花のかげにむつれぬ

yamazakura
hiru miru iro no
akanaku ni
yoru sae hana no
kage ni mutsurenu
Mountain cherry,
Viewed in daytime has hues
That will not sate, so
Even at night the blossoms’
Glow entangles me.

Ushigimi
4

The Left’s poem has nothing remarkable about it. I say that, but it also has no particular faults. The Right’s phrase ‘’ feels curt, so I make the Left the winner.

The Left’s poem does not appear to have any particular faults—it describes the world as it is, so it seems to lack any novel phrasing.

The diction of the Right’s ‘Viewed in daytime has hues’ is extremely immature. With that being said, being entangled and lingering unsated has some conception to it.. I should say this is the winner.

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