Left (Tie)

てる月もおのがひかりやたむくらむしらゆふかくるすみよしのまつ

teru tsuki mo ono ga hikari ya tamukuramu shirayū kakuru sumiyoshi no matsu

Does the shining moon Of his own light Make an offering? Sacred white streamers hung From the pines of Sumiyoshi.

Lord Fujiwara no Koretsuna
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[i]
35

Right

かたそぎのゆきあはぬまよりもる月はしもにしもをやおきかさぬらむ

katasogi no yukiawanu ma yori moru tsuki wa shimo ni shimo o ya okikasanuramu

The ridge poles Fail to meet and from the gaps Drips moonlight— Is it frost atop of frost A’falling?

Lord Fujiwara no Suesada
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[ii]
36

The Left appears elegant, but I do not feel that ‘his own’ is particularly appropriate here. The Right’s configuration of ‘Is it frost atop of frost’ seems charming. However, there is also the point that I sincerely feel that there is no good reason in the current composition to shoehorn in ‘The ridge poles / Fail to meet and from the gaps’, and thus these tie again.

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[i] San’i jūgoige Fujiwara ason Koretsuna散位従五位下藤原朝臣伊綱

[ii] San’i jūgoige Fujiwara ason Suesada 散位従五位下藤原朝臣季定