Left (Win).
山遠き門田の末は霧晴て穂波に沈む有明の月
| yama tōki kadota no sue wa kiri harete honami ni shizumu ariake no tsuki |
By the distant mountains, At the farthest reach of fields before my gates, The mists are clearing, and Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears is The dawntime moon… |
395
Right.
夕月夜ほのめく影も哀なり稲葉の風は袖に通ひて
| yūzukuyo honomeku kage mo awarenari inaba no kaze wa sode ni kayoite |
The autumn evening moon’s Faint light is Moving, indeed; The wind upon the rice-stalks Passing o’er my sleeves… |
396
The Right simply say that the Left’s poem is ‘good’. The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dawntime moon’ (ariake no tsuki) and the Right’s ‘early evening moon’ are both deeply moving; the Left, continuing with ‘at the farthest reach of fields before my gates, the mists are clearing’ (kadota no sue wa kiri harete) is particularly fine, I feel. ‘Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears’ (honami ni shizumu) is certainly technically proficient, and yet lacks a certain profundity. And yet, the initial ‘By the distant mountains’ (yama tōki) show a true depth. It should win.