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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter I: 1

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Left (Tie).

晴曇る時雨に色を染ながら隙なく降るは木葉成けり

harekumoru
shigure ni iro o
somenagara
himanaku furu wa
ko no ha narikeri		 From the unsettled skies
Drizzle with colour
Stains
The ever-falling
Leaves from the trees.

Kenshō.

481

Right.

時雨つる嶺の叢雲晴のきて風より降るは木葉なりけり

shiguretsuru
mine no murakumo
harenokite
kaze yori furu wa
ko no ha narikeri		 Drizzle done,
The peaks the clearing clouds
Reveal;
Now the winds are done, fallen are
The leaves from the trees.

Nobusada.

482

Both teams state they find no particular faults with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on the topic of ‘falling leaves’, and both ‘The ever-falling leaves from the trees’ (himanaku furu wa ko no ha) and ‘Now the winds are done, fallen are’ (kaze yori furu wa), in conception and diction, are charming [kokoro kotoba tomo no okashiku kikoyu]. They must tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 28

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Left (Win).

ゆふま山松のは風にうちそへて蝉の鳴く音も峰渡るなり

yūma yama
matsu no ha kaze ni
uchisoete
semi no naku ne mo
mine wataru nari		 Upon Yūma Mountain
The wind passing o’er the pine needles:
Just so
Do the cicadas’ cries
Pass between the peaks.

Kenshō.

295

Right.

深山邊のふかみどりなる夏木立蝉の聲とてしげからぬかは

miyamabe no
fukamidorinaru
natsu kodachi
semi no koe tote
shigekaranu ka wa		 In the mountains’ heart
Of deepest green
Are the trees in summer, yet
The cicadas’ songs
Surpass them in profusion.

Lord Tsune’ie.

296

The Right state that, ‘the expression ha kaze is usually used in reference to birds.’ (Ha here used to mean ‘leaf’, was also the word for ‘wing’.) The Left query, ‘the use of tote,’ which is a particle not usually used in poetry. In addition, they say, ‘“Trees in summer” (natsu kodachi) is should only be used in poems on the topic of “Summer Greenery”.’

Shunzei states, ‘The expression “wind passing o’er the pine needles” (matsu no ha kaze) is not that common, however, it is certainly not the case that ha kaze can only be used in reference to birds. Are not “wind passing o’er the bamboo leaves” (take no ha kaze) or “wind passing o’er the silver grass fronds” (ogi no ha kaze) everyday expressions? However, would it not have been better to say “the wind, blowing ‘gainst the pines: just so” (matsu fuku kaze ni uchisoete)? The Right’s “trees in summer” (natsu kodachi) and “surpass them in profusion” are interesting but, still, “pass between the peaks” (mine wataru nari) and “Yūma Mountain” (yūma yama) are better, I think.’