Round Two

Left

をちかたやくも井の山のほととぎすあまつよそにもなきわたるかな

ochikata ya kumoi no yama no hototogisu ama tsu yoso ni mo nakiwataru kana

From the distant Mount within the clouds A cuckoo In yonder heavens Sings his song!

Lord Saburō
17

Right

ほととぎすしのだのもりのしのびねをたづねざりせばいかできかまし

hototogisu shinoda no mori no shinobine o tazunezariseba ikade kikamashi

A cuckoo In Shinoda’s sacred grove Lets out a hushed cry; Had I not come to visit here, How might I have heard it?

Ushigimi
18

In regards the poem of the Left’s ‘from the distant’ and what follows, extremely recently and colloquially, at the Nakatomi purification ceremony it seems there was a composition, ‘in the distance, below the trees so lush’. This diction is contrary to the expected style of waka and something which occurs only extremely rarely. Truly, one does not compose using such diction in a poetry match. The poem of the Right has nothing of interest about it, yet it also lack faults to mention, so it wins.

This round, neither poem appears bad. The Left has a novel style, while the Right seems cliched, but its expression is smooth. I wonder if we could see these as a tie.