Left
相思ふ中には枝も交しけり君が梢はいやおちにして
| ai’omou naka ni wa eda mo kawashikeri kimi ga kozue wa iya’ochi ni shite |
Joined in love Branches meet and Twine together, they say, yet As the treetops, you fail to come Again, and yet again. |
Kenshō
1033
Right (Win)
人しれぬ心に君を楢柴のしばしもよそに思はずもがな
| hito shirenu kokoro ni kimi o narashiba no shibashi mo yoso ni omowasu mogana |
Unknown to all My heart to you Inclines among the oaks; For just a while, as a stranger I would you not think of me… |
Lord Takanobu
1034
The Gentlemen of the Right state: ‘again, and yet again’ (iya’ochi) does not sound pleasant. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left’s poem, having the conception of intertwined branches is pleasant, but ‘treetops at my house’ (yado no kozue) would be normal, so I wonder about ‘as the treetops, you fail to come’ (kimi ga kozue)? In the Right’s poem, although ‘among the oaks; for just a while’ (narashiba no shibashi) is commonplace, it is still more elegant than ‘again and yet again’.