Tag Archives: narashiba

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 27

Round Two

Left (Win)

ならしばのたびのいほりにおとづれてしぐれもいまぞやまめぐりする

narashiba no
tabi no iori ni
otozurete
shigure mo ima zo
yama megurisuru
Oak boughs make
My traveller’s hut, where
I am visited by the sound of
Showers—they, too, now
Are on pilgrimage through the mountains.[1]

Shōkaku
53

Right

たびごろもうらがなしかるあさぢふによはのしぐれよいかにせよとぞ

tabigoromo
uraganashikaru
asajū ni
yowa no shigure yo
ika ni seyo to zo
In my traveller’s garb and
Sad at heart among
The clumps of cogon grass,
O, midnight shower,
Tell me, what I am I to do?[2]

Jakuchō
54

While both Left and Right sound pleasant, I make the Left the winner, because it sounds slightly more moving at present, with a traveller’s hut being visited by showers.


[1]Alluding to: Composed when caught in a shower, while making a pilgrimage to one hundred temples in Higashiyama.  もろともに山めぐりするしぐれかなふるにかひなき身とはしらずや morotomo ni / yamamegurisuru / shigure kana / furu ni kainaki / mi to wa shirazu ya  ‘Together with me / On my mountain pilgrimage are / The showers! / ‘Tis pointless to fall / On my sorry self, don’t you know!’ Master of the Left Capital Office Michimasa (SKS IV: 149)

[2] Alluding to: 旅ごろもうらがなしさにあかしかね草の枕は夢もむすばず tabigoromo / uraganashisa ni / akashikane / kusa no makura wa / yume mo musubazu  ‘In my traveller’s garb / My heart-sickness / I cannot lift, for / My grassy pillow / Brings no dreams, at all…’ Hikaru Genji (Genji monogatari 223)

Love VIII: 7

Left
相思ふ中には枝も交しけり君が梢はいやおちにして

ai’omou
naka ni wa eda mo
kawashikeri
kimi ga kozue wa
iya’ochi ni shite
Joined in love
Branches meet and
Twine together, they say, yet
As the treetops, you fail to come
Again, and yet again.

Kenshō
1033

Right (Win)
人しれぬ心に君を楢柴のしばしもよそに思はずもがな

hito shirenu
kokoro ni kimi o
narashiba no
shibashi mo yoso ni
omowasu mogana
Unknown to all
My heart to you
Inclines among the oaks;
For just a while, as a stranger
I would you not think of me…

Lord Takanobu
1034

The Gentlemen of the Right state: ‘again, and yet again’ (iya’ochi) does not sound pleasant. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, having the conception of intertwined branches is pleasant, but ‘treetops at my house’ (yado no kozue) would be normal, so I wonder about ‘as the treetops, you fail to come’ (kimi ga kozue)? In the Right’s poem, although ‘among the oaks; for just a while’ (narashiba no shibashi) is commonplace, it is still more elegant than ‘again and yet again’.