Left.
雨そそき人待つ宵は憂かりけりこやことづけにならんと思へば
ame sosoki
hito matsu yoi wa
ukarikeri
koya kotozuke ni
naran to omoeba |
Rain dripping,
The nights awaiting him are
Cruel, indeed;
That is his excuse,
Or so I feel! |
Lord Suetsune.
939
Right (Win).
頼めねど絶えず音する時雨かな戀しき人のかゝらましかば
tanomenedo
taezu otosuru
shigure kana
koishiki hito no
kakaramashikaba |
I put no trust in you, yet
Ceaselessly, you come to call
O, showers!
I would that the man I love
Would do the same… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
940
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, while ‘rain dripping’ (ame sosoki) sounds like it should recall Eastern House, there is no clear reason for this, and ‘that is his excuse’ (koya kotozuke) would also seem to refer to ‘“In the land of Tsu / Come on”’ (tsu no kuni no / koya). ‘Rain dripping’, though, does not link to this, I think. While the Right’s poem may be pedestrian, it certainly should win.
Left.
下とをる涙に袖も朽ちはてゝ着るかひもなき雨衣かな
shita tōru
namida ni sode mo
kuchihatete
kiru kai mo naki
amagoromo kana |
Right through to below
With tears are even my sleeves
Quite rotted;
Putting it on would be pointless
This raincoat of mine! |
Kenshō.
937
Right (Win).
戀ゆへに身を知る雨の年を經て心のうちにかき曇るらむ
koi yue ni
mi o shiru ame no
toshi o hete
kokoro no uchi ni
kakikumoruramu |
For love
The rain knows how I feel full well
Down through the years
Within my heart
The clouds grow ever thicker… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress Household Office.
938
The Right state: the Left’s ‘right through to below’ (shita tōruʼ) sounds as if the poet is passing below the palace! The Left state: in this poem it is not at all clear why it is that ‘the rain knows how I feel full well’ (mi o shiru ame).
In judgement: the Left, by using ‘right through to below’, has forgotten that ‘raincoat’ (amagoromo) evokes the sense of a salt-hut and, because there is nothing in the poem to suggest a location by the sea, amagoromo appears to be the clothing of a nun, or something similar. As for the Right’s ‘the rain knows how I feel full well’, it is simply ‘for love’. This seems plain to me. The Right wins.
'Simply moving and elegant'