Left.
入相の音につけても待たれし寢よとの鐘に思ひ弱りぬ
| iriai no oto ni tsukete mo matareshi neyo to no kane ni omoiyowarinu |
For the sunset bell’s Toll Have I waited, and Thought to go to sleep, but a further chime Leaves me distraught. |
685
Right (Win).
宵の鐘を聞すぐすだに苦しきに鳥の音を鳴袖の上哉
| yoi no kane o kikisugusu dani kurushiki ni tori no ne o naku sode no ue kana |
The night’s bells I hear, in passing, but More painful is The birdsong falling Upon my sleeves… |
686
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in the Left’s poem the use of ‘have I waited’ (matareshi) gives the impression that the wait has been very long, indeed! In addition, ‘thought to go to sleep, but a further chime’ (neyo to no kane) is unsatisfactory. ‘Sunset bell’ (iriai no oto) and ‘sleep, but a further chime’ (neyo to no kane) – both these expressions have the same meaning. The Gentlemen of the Left state: in the Right’s poem ‘painful’ (kurushiki ni) sounds weak.
Shunzei’s judgement: the statement by the Gentlemen of the Right concerning ‘sunset bell’ and ‘sleep, but a further chime’ is correct. As for the faults of the Right’s poem, using painful or ‘sorrowful’ (wabishi) forcefully certainly does not sound weak. Having said, ‘I hear, in passing, but’ (kikisugusu dani) makes it more painful. The final line sounds charming. Thus, the Right wins.