Tag Archives: cedars

Love I: 28

Left (Win).

偽のしるしと杉を三輪の山訪ひつゝ來たる甲斐しなければ

itsuwari no
shirushi to sugi o
miwa no yama
toitsutsu kitaru
kai shinakereba
How false!
For proof to the cedars
On Mount Miwa
Have I come visiting many times
To no purpose.

Lord Suetsune.

655

Right.

三輪の山杉立つ門を訪へとだに頼めぬ道に迷ころかな

miwa no yama
sugi tatsu kado o
toe to dani
tanomenu michi ni
mayoi koro kana
On Mount Miwa
My gate where cedars stand
Come visit – not even
That have you asked, so my way
Have I lost…

Jakuren.

656

Both Right and Left can find no fault with the other’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems refer to Mount Miwa, and it is, perhaps a bit regrettable [kuchioshiku] that the Left uses the phrase ‘How false! For proof’ (itsuwari no shirushi)in this context. In the Right’s ‘my gate where cedars stand’ (sugi tatsu kado) , tatsu sounds insufficient as diction [kotoba, koto tarazu kikoyu]. The Left’s poem, moreover, is tasteful in form [utazama yū naru].

Summer II: 24

Left.

鳴神は猶村雲にとゞろきて入日に晴るゝ夕立の空

narukami wa
nao murakumo ni
todorokite
irihi ni haruru
yūdachi no sora
Thunder
Among the crowding clouds yet
Sounds, and
The setting sun shines from a clearing
Sky of evening showers.

Kenshō.

287

Right (Win).

これもやと人里遠き片山に夕立すぐる杉の村立

kore mo ya to
hito sato tōki
katayama ni
yūdachi suguru
sugi no muradachi
Could that be it?
Far from human dwellings
In the distant mountains
Passed o’er by evening showers:
A grove of cedar trees…

Nobusada.

288

The Right wonder whether, ‘it is not overly similar to have both “thunder” (naru) and “sound” (todoroku) in a single poem?’ The Left have no comments to make.

Shunzei states, ‘The Left’s poem does seem to have some sort of style about it, but the Right’s “Could that be it?” (kore mo ya) contains many possible meanings, and the phrasing is also pleasant, as is “a grove of cedar trees” (sugi no muradachi), and thus, it must win.’