Left (Win)
忘れずは馴し袖もやこほこほるらむ寝ぬ夜の床の霜のさむしろ
wasurezu wa
nareshi sode mo ya
kōruramu
nenu yo no toko no
shimo no samushiro | If she should forget me not,
Would those oh so familiar sleeves, too,
Freeze solid?
In bed on a sleepless night
Frost forms on my chilly blankets… |
Lord Sada’ie
1139
Right
分てこそ中より塵は積もりぬれ恋の病に沈むさ筵
wakete koso
naka yori chiri wa
tsumorinure
koi no yamai ni
shizumu samushiro | Split down
The middle, dust
Has piled up!
Sunk in the sickness
Of love upon this blanket! |
Lord Takanobu
1140
Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: the conception of being lost in thought of another’s sleeves ‘in bed on a sleepless night frost forms on my chilly blankets’ (nenu yo no toko no shimo no samushiro) is certainly elegant. The scene in the Right’s poem, with the blanket divided in half, with one covered with dust, and the other where the speaker lies lovesick, is distasteful and I do not find it appealing, so thus, the Left wins.
Left (Tie)
人待つと荒れ行く閨のさむしろに払はぬ塵を払ふ秋風
hito matsu to
areyuku neya no
samushiro ni
harawanu chiri o
harau akikaze | Awaiting him in
A dilapidated room’s
Chill blankets,
The dust I’ve left untouched is
Brushed by the cloying wind of autumn. |
A Servant Girl
1137
Right
夜もすがら泪ながるる狭筵は払はぬ塵も積もらざりけり
yomosugara
namida nagaruru
samushiro wa
harawanu chiri mo
tsumorazarikeri | All night long
My tears flow upon
My blanket, so
Even the dust I’ve left untouched
Does not pile up… |
Jakuren
1138
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of the autumn wind blowing into a bedroom. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgment: while it does not sound as if there is a clear winner or loser between the ‘dust I’ve left untouched’ (harawanu chiri) used by both parties, why on earth should the autumn wind not blow into the Left’s bedroom? Really, there is no fault at all in saying that the wind will blow into a dilapidated bedroom! The Right has ‘dust I’ve left untouched’ flowing away with the speaker’s tears, and lacks any faults from beginning to end, but the configuration of the Left’s concluding ‘dust I’ve left untouched is brushed by the cloying wind of autumn’ is superior. The initial section of this poem is a little lacking, however, so both poems are equivalent and should tie.
Left
君とわが寝しさむしろの塵なれば形見がてらにうちも払はず
kimi to wa ga
neshi samushiro no
chiri nareba
katami ga tera ni
uchi mo harawazu | My love and I
Did sleep upon these blankets, so
Even the dust there
Is a memento –
I cannot brush it away! |
Lord Suetsune
1135
Right (Win)
ひとり寝の床のさ筵朽ちにけり涙は袖をかぎるのみかは
hitorine no
toko no samushiro
kuchinikeri
namida wa sode o
kagiru nomi ka wa | Sleeping solo on
My bed’s blankets,
They have rotted away;
Tears on more than sleeves
Have that effect… |
Ietaka
1136
The Right state: ‘did sleep’ (neshi) is particularly unimpressive. The Left state: ‘more than sleeves’ (sode o kagiru) is, perhaps, over-definite.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, despite ‘did sleep upon these blankets’ (neshi samushiro) referring to something which definitely exists, it still sounds as if there is not much poetic expression in the poem. ‘Is a memento’ (katami ga tera) fails to resemble ‘for blossom viewing’ (hanami ga tera). As for the Right’s poem, I certainly would not say that ‘tears on more than sleeves have that effect’ (namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa) is over-definite. It is somewhat difficult to make out on hearing, but the configuration is poetic, indeed, so the Right should win, it seems.
Left (Tie)
憂き身ゆへよがるる床のさむしろはしき忍び忍びてもかひやなからむ
ukimi yue
yogaruru toko no
samushiro wa
shikishinobitemo
kai ya nakaramu | My cruelty was it that
Kept him from my bed these many nights;
My blanket:
Should I spread it and think of him alone,
Would that have no effect at all? |
Lord Kanemune
1133
Right
恋わびぬむなしき床のさむしろに幾夜いくたび寝覚しつらん
koiwabinu
munashiki toko no
samushiro ni
ikuyo ikutabi
nezameshitsuran | Sick am I of love –
In an empty bed’s
Blankets
How many nights, how many times,
Must I awake? |
Nobusada
1134
Both Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: both of the ‘blankets’ (samushiro) of the Left and Right here seem elegant. The configuration of the Left’s ‘my cruelty was it that kept him from my bed these many nights; my blanket’ (ukimi yue yogaruru toko no samushiro) and the conception of the Right’s ‘sick am I of love – in an empty bed’s’ (koiwabinu munashiki toko no) are such that I find both difficult to put down. I must make the round a tie.
Left
君ゆへにわれさへうとく成はてゝ塵のみゐたる床のさむしろ
kimi yue ni
ware sae utoku
narihatete
chiri nomi itaru
toko no samushiro |
For him
So distant have I
Become;
Dust alone gathers
On the matting of my bed. |
Lord Ari’ie
1131
Right (Win)
さむしろも哀とや思ふあらましに來ぬ君待つとうち拂ふをば
samushiro mo
aware to ya omou
aramashi ni
konu kimi matsu to
uchiharau o ba |
Does my matting, too,
Feel pity,
I wonder?
As waiting for one who never comes
I sweep it clean… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1132
The Right state: the Left’s poem is not bad. The Left state: the final section of the Right’s poem is unsatisfactory.
In judgement: Both poems use ‘matting’ (samushiro), and the Left’s is not bad in form, but the theme of a person who has grown to hate their own bed so much that dust alone gathers there is completely different from that of the previous round – what sort of lover might they have had, one wonders! Although I wonder about the final section of the Right’s poem, it does not seem to regret the overall conception of love and so wins the round.
Left (Tie)
出にける君が夜床の狭筵にひとり寝してや肌を触れまし
idenikeru
kimi ga yodoko no
samushiro ni
hitorineshite ya
hada o furemashi |
Departed
Is he from our bed tonight, so
On his blanket
Should I sleep alone,
Might I touch his skin? |
Kenshō
1129
Right
綾むしろ立ち寄る人はなけれどもあらましにのみ敷きてこそ待て
ayamushiro
tachiyoru hito wa
nakeredomo
aramashi ni nomi
shikite koso mate |
To my patterned blanket
He has not
Drawn near, yet
In simple longing
Will I spread it and await him… |
Lord Tsune’ie
1130
Both Left and Right together state: this seems somewhat jocular.
In judgement: the Left’s conception of starting with ‘departed’ (idenikeru), as the poem of a woman sleeping alone and finding traces of a the man who has left on the blanket, sounds extremely poor in style. On the other hand, if it is a man’s poem, has he come upon the traces of a woman after she has left? In any case, whichever it is the initial line is not good at all. The Right’s poem, with its ‘to my patterned blanket he has not drawn near, yet’ (ayamushiro tachiyoru hito wa nakeredomo), also appears to be a woman’s poem. The Left’s humour, and the Right’s longing, are both eccentric. The round must tie.
'Simply moving and elegant'