Left.
ひとり寢の袖の名殘の朝じめり日影に消えぬ露もありけり
| hitorine no sode no nagori no asajimeri hikage ni kienu tsuyu mo arikeri |
Sleeping solo My sleeves remain Damp in the morning; The sunlight leaves untouched The dewfall there. |
A Servant Girl.
803
Right (Win).
道芝を分けて露けき袖ならば濡れても暮を待たまし物を
| michishiba o wakete tsuyukeki sode naraba nuretemo kure mo matamashi mono o |
If the roadside grasses, Have brushed dewfall On these sleeves, May to dampen them again, ‘til evening I would wish to wait… |
Ietaka.
804
The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: there is a very recent poem, ‘If he would be wet with waves should surely wait for evening?’.
In judgement: simply saying, ‘Sleeping solo my sleeves remain damp in the morning’ (hitorine no sode no nagori no asajimeri) seems to lack the conception of love. I wonder who might have written the ‘recent poem’, ‘If he would be wet with waves should surely wait for evening?’ mentioned by the Right? How, indeed, can we avoid poems which are not in the anthologies? In any case, the poem here is ‘May to dampen them again, ‘til evening I would wish to wait’ and the initial line is different. This level of resemblance between poems is not uncommon. The Right’s poem is pleasant. It should win.
Left (Win).
時分かぬ浪さへ色に泉川柞の杜に嵐吹らし
| toki wakanu nami sae iro ni izumigawa hahaso no mori ni arashi fukurashi |
Ever unchanging, Even the waves have coloured On Izumi River; In the oak groves Have the wild winds blown. |
443
Right.
秋深き岩田の小野の柞原下葉は草の露や染らん
| aki fukaki iwata no ono no hahasowara shitaba wa kusa no tsuyu ya somuran |
Autumn’s deep at Iwata-no-Ono In the oak groves Have the lower leaves by grass Touched dewfall been dyed? |
444
Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The total effect of the Left’s ‘even the waves have coloured on Izumi River’ (nami sae iro in izumigawa) is most superior [sugata wa yū narubeshi]. However, there does not appear to be any element linked to the final section’s ‘wild winds’ (arashi) in the initial part of the poem. The Right has ‘have the lower leaves by grass touched dewfall been dyed?’ (shitaba wa kusa no tsuyu ya somuran), without, in the initial section having an expression like ‘treetops stained by showers’ (kozue wa shigure somu), and I wonder about having the lower leaves on the trees touched by ‘dewfall on the grass’ (kusa no tsuyu). The Left’s ‘have the wild winds blown’ should win.
Left (Win).
秋ごとに絶えぬ星合のさ夜更て光傡ぶる庭の灯し火
| akigoto ni taenu hoshiai no sayo fukete hikari naraburu niwa no tomoshibi |
Each and every autumn, For the eternal meeting of the stars Night falls, and Lights align with The palace garden lanterns. |
319
Right.
露深き庭の灯し火數消ぬ夜や更ぬらん星合の空
| tsuyu fukai niwa no tomoshibi kazu kienu yo ya fukenuran hoshiai no sora |
Deep dewfall Upon the garden lanterns Extinguished a number; Has night fallen, I wonder, Upon the sky wherein stars meet? |
320
The Right have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, while the Left simply say the Right’s poem has ‘major faults’. (Criticising the use of the completive marker nu twice in quick succession: kienu, fukenuran.)
Shunzei ignores this point, simply saying, ‘The expression “Has night fallen, I wonder, upon the sky wherein stars meet?” (yo ya fukenuran hoshiai no sora) is splendid, but there is no reason for beginning the poem with “deep dewfall” (tsuyu fukaki). The Lefts’ poem has no faults – thus, it must win.’
Left (Win).
雨そゝく池の浮草風こえて浪と露とにかはづ鳴くなり
| ame sosoku ike no ukikusa kaze koete nami to tsuyu to ni kawazu nakunari |
Rain drifts down Upon the duckweed in the pond, Driven by the wind Among wavelets and dewfall The frogs are calling. |
165
Right.
庭の面はひとつに見ゆる浮草をこゝぞ汀とかはづ鳴なり
| niwa no omo wa hitotsu ni miyuru ukikusa o koko zo migiwa to kawazu nakunari |
The garden’s face Seems as one With the duckweed; ‘Here lies the water’s edge,’ The frogs are calling… |
166
Neither Right nor Left has any particular remarks to make about the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei says, ‘Both poems are splendid in form, but the Left’s ‘among the wavelets and dewfall’ (nami to tsuyu to ni) is particularly pleasing. It must win.