The End of Autumn
Left
あきやまはからくれなゐになりにけりいくしほしぐれふりてそめけむ
| akiyama wa karakurenai ni narinikeri iku shioshigure furitesomekemu | The autumn mountains To Cathay scarlet Have turned; How many dippings with drizzle Have fallen to dye them so? |
15
Right (Win)
さほやまのははそのもみぢうすけれどあきはふかくもなりにけるかな
| saoyama no hahaso no momiji usukeredo aki wa fukaku mo narinikeru kana | On Sao Mountain The oak trees autumn leaves Are pale in hue, yet Most deep has autumn Become! |
Korenori
16
Left (Win).
時分かぬ浪さへ色に泉川柞の杜に嵐吹らし
| toki wakanu nami sae iro ni izumigawa hahaso no mori ni arashi fukurashi |
Ever unchanging, Even the waves have coloured On Izumi River; In the oak groves Have the wild winds blown. |
443
Right.
秋深き岩田の小野の柞原下葉は草の露や染らん
| aki fukaki iwata no ono no hahasowara shitaba wa kusa no tsuyu ya somuran |
Autumn’s deep at Iwata-no-Ono In the oak groves Have the lower leaves by grass Touched dewfall been dyed? |
444
Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The total effect of the Left’s ‘even the waves have coloured on Izumi River’ (nami sae iro in izumigawa) is most superior [sugata wa yū narubeshi]. However, there does not appear to be any element linked to the final section’s ‘wild winds’ (arashi) in the initial part of the poem. The Right has ‘have the lower leaves by grass touched dewfall been dyed?’ (shitaba wa kusa no tsuyu ya somuran), without, in the initial section having an expression like ‘treetops stained by showers’ (kozue wa shigure somu), and I wonder about having the lower leaves on the trees touched by ‘dewfall on the grass’ (kusa no tsuyu). The Left’s ‘have the wild winds blown’ should win.
Left (Win).
柞原雫も色や變るらむ杜の下草秋更けにけり
| hahasowara shizuku mo iro mo kawaruramu mori no shitagusa aki fukenikeri |
In the oak grove Have the raindrops, too, their hues A’changed? For to the grass beneath the sacred boughs Has autumn come! |
441
Right.
あたりまで梢さびしき柞原深くは何を思こむらん
| atari made kozue sabishiki hahasowara fukaku wa nani o omoikomuran |
From all around The treetops in the lonely Oak grove Deep within what Thoughts would fill one’s mind? |
442
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left query the usage of ‘from all around’ (atari made).
Shunzei’s judgement: The Right’s poem would certainly appear to have an in-depth grasp of the conception of the topic [makoto ni kokoro komorige ni miete], however, my shallow understanding is unable to follow it; besides which the Left’s ‘to the grass beneath the sacred boughs has autumn come!’ (mori no shitagusa aki fukenikeri) is most fine [yoroshiku habereba], so I have no need for further consideration and make the Left the winner.
Left.
松陰にいかで時雨の漏りつらん岩本柞初紅葉せり
| matsu kage ni ikade shigure no moritsuran iwamoto hahaso hatsu momijiseri |
Beneath the pine trees’ shade Why has the shower Drenched all? The oak tree, at the crag-foot Has its first scarlet leaf. |
439
Right.
山科の岩田の小野に秋暮れて風に色ある柞原かな
| yamashina no iwata no ono ni aki kurete kaze ni iro aru hahasowara kana |
In Yamashina At Iwata-no-Ono Autumn is almost done Its hues are in the wind Upon the oak groves. |
440
The Right ask whether the Left can cite a poem as a precedent for the expression ‘oak tree, at the crag-foot’ (iwamoto hahaso). The Left respond that they cannot bring one to mind immediately. However, ‘crag-foot’ is often used about a range of plants of various kinds. Thus, where is the fault in using it? The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: It is not particularly important whether there is a precedent for the Left’s use of ‘oak tree, at the crag-foot’ [shōka no yūmu ni oyobubekarazu]. The final section, ‘has its first scarlet leaf’(hatsu momijiseri), however, given that what comes before is a standard poem [tsune no uta], is somewhat over-explicit [niwaka ni kotogotoshiku haberumere]. The Right’s poem has nothing particular to say. Starting with ‘Yamashina’ sounds overly blunt [amari ni tashika ni kikoetaru]. In addition, the final section displays no deep thought [munen narubeshi]. So, again, the round is a tie.
Left.
秋ぞかし岩田の小野のいはずとも柞が原に紅葉やはせん
| aki zo kashi wata no ono no iwazutomo hahaso ga hara ni momiji ya wa sen |
It’s Autumn! At Iwata-no-Ono, Needless to say, The oak groves, all, Are turning to scarlet leaves. |
437
Right.
薄く濃くことは變れど柞原梢にこぞる秋の色かな
| usuku koku koto wa kawaredo hahasowara kozue ni kozoru aki no iro kana |
First dark, then light They change, yet, Upon the oak groves’ Treetops gather All the hues of autumn… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
438
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find ‘gather’ (kozoru) ‘grating on the ear’ [kikiyokarazu] and ‘clumsy’ [tezutsu].
Shunzei’s judgement: Starting a poem with ‘It’s Autumn!’ is a usage of diction which I must hope will be considered charming [kotobazukai okashikaran to shokiseru narubeshi]! The Right’s ‘treetops gather’ (kozue ni kozoru) is somewhat unexpected wording [sukoshi wa omoikakenu kotoba ni wa haberedo], yet one cannot call it ‘clumsy’. So, with nothing superlative or at fault with either poem, the round ties.
Left.
柞原涼みし夏の青木立色變りても猶ならすかな
| hahasowara suzumishi natsu no aogidachi iro kawarite mo nao narasu kana |
Beneath the oaks is Cool in summer – A fresh green grove; Their hues have changed, but Still, ‘tis where I take my rest… |
435
Right (Win).
山巡る時雨の宿か柞原我が物顔に色の見ゆらん
| yama meguru shigure no yado ka hahasowara wa ga mono kao ni iro no miyuran |
Roaming round the mountains Is the showers’ lodging Above the oaks? Such satisfaction in their Hues, there seems to be! |
436
The Right state that ‘a fresh green grove’ (aogidachi) in the Left’s poem is difficult to accept [kikinikushi].The Left wonder what is meant by ‘Such satisfaction in their hues, there seems to be!’ (wa ga mono kao ni iro no miyuran).
Shunzei’s judgement: With regard to the Left’s poem, the cool of summer is usually evoked by phrases such as ‘the shade of the cedars by the Barrier springs’, or ‘’neath the pines growing by waters flowing from the rocks’, and so one wonders why a fresh green grove of oaks has been used. When the focus [mune] in a poem is autumn leaves, using ‘yet’ (nao) suggests that the poet has something else in mind. The Right’s poem is charming in conception [kokoro wa okashiku kikoyuru], but ‘lodging’ (yado ka) as a piece of diction is insufficiently heartfelt [kotoba no shokisubekarazu]. However, the Left’s poem is lacks sufficient feeling throughout [kotogoto ni kanshinserarezu]. Thus, I make the Right the winner.
Left (Win).
舟止めぬ人はあらじな泉川柞の杜に紅葉しつれば
| funa tomenu hito wa araji na izumigawa hahaso no mori ni momiji shitsureba |
Not pausing the boat – No one would when Izumi River By the oak grove’s Scarlet leaves is stained… |
433
Right.
柞原染むる時雨もある物をしばしな吹きそ木枯らしの風
| hahasowara somuru shigure mo aru mono o shibashi na fuki so kogarashi no kaze |
The oak trees are being Stained by showers And so For just a while blow not, O, withering wind! |
434
As the previous round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The style [fūtei] of both poems is such that neither has an particular points worth criticising, or praising either. However, the Right’s ‘blow not’ (na fuki so) seems insufficient. The Left wins.