Left.
下枝までかゝれる蔦は紅葉して錦を張るは和田の笠松
| shizue made kakareru tsuta wa momijishite nishiki o haru wa wada no kasamatsu |
The lowest branches All festooned with ivy Turning scarlet, All in brocade are The parasol pines at Wada. |
425
Right (Win).
絶え間なくかゝれる蔦の色づけば紅葉を囲ふ墻根とぞみる
| taema naku kakareru tsuta no irozukeba momiji o kakou kakine to zo miru |
There’s not a break In the festooning ivy, Taking on its hue: Enveloped with scarlet leaves Fenced around, it seems… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
426
The Right state that the initial line in the Left’s poem, ‘the lowest branches’ (shizue made), fail to connect with the poem’s conclusion. The Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘pedestrian’ [tsune no koto], but have no other criticisms.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on ‘ivy’, with the Left referring to parasol pines covered in brocade, and the Right a fence joined with scarlet leaves. In conception, neither is unpleasant [kokoro, onoono, okashikarazaru ni arazu]. However, the final section of the Left’s poem is seems to be particularly lacking in poetic qualities [kotoni utashina naki ni nitari]. It would have been better had the Right avoided the artifice of the Left’s festooned parasols [kasahari nado wa sede] and simply mentioned ‘a fence, seemingly surrounded with scarlet leaves’ [momiji o kakouran kakine]. Nevertheless, it should win.