Eien narabō uta’awase 05

Round Five

Left (Win)

さくらやまはなのさかりに風ふけばこずゑをこして白波ぞたつ

sakurayama
hana no sakari ni
kaze fukeba
kozue o koshite
shiranami zo tatsu
On the mount of Cherries
So fine is the blossom that
When the wind does blow,
Passing o’er the treetops,
Whitecaps arise!

Controller’s Graduate
9

Right

この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな

kono haru wa
hana ni kokoro no
akugarete
ko no moto nite mo
kurashitsuru kana
This springtime
By the blossoms my heart
Is captivated, and
Beneath the trees
Does dwell!

Kerin’in Graduate
10

Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.

The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.

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