Round Twenty-Two

Left

おひやらぬいはねのまつはわれなれやひさしくよよにみどりなるかな

oiyaranu iwane no matsu wa ware nare ya hisashiku yoyo ni midori naru kana

A spindly Pine growing in the crag-cracks Am I? Forever through the years I am stuck at green!

Minamoto no Munenaga
143

Right (Win)

いけみづのいひいでずともおもひかねふかきうれへをかみはしるらむ

ikemizu no ii’idezu tomo omoikane fukaki uree o kami wa shiruramu

As pond waters behind A sluice gate, I say nothing, yet I cannot help but wonder: The depths of my despair— Does the deity know it?

Fujiwara no Noritsune
144

The conception of the Left’s poem, saying, ‘Forever through the years’ sounds pleasant, but I feel it’s a bit hackneyed, given the poem, ‘Solitary pinecone / Is green!’[1] The poem of the Right’s ‘As pond waters behind / A sluice gate, I say’ is also pedestrian, yet ‘The depths of my despair— / Does the deity know it?’ contains some conception. It’s a little better, I’d say.

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[1] Composed when he had gone to the residence of Narisuke, the Chief Priest of Kamo, when drunk, was sorrowing that he had yet to be promoted. もみぢするかつらのなかにすみよしのまつのみひとりみどりなるかな momijisuru / katsura no naka ni / sumiyoshi no / matsu no mi hitori / midori naru kana ‘Among the scarlet-leaved / Katsura, / Sumiyoshi’s / Solitary pinecone / Is green!’ Kunimoto, the Governor of Tsu (GSIS XVII: 987)