ゆふされば塩風さむし浪間よりみゆるこじまに雪は降りつつ
| yū sareba shiokaze samushi namima yori miyuru kojima ni yuki wa furitsutsu | When the evening comes, How cold the tidewinds are; Between the breakers, I glimpse islets where The snow is ever falling… |
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Tag Archives: namima
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 62
Round Twelve
Left (Win)
ほのかにてあるかなきかにすぐるみやなみまにまがふあまのいさりび
| honoka nite aru ka naki ka ni suguru mi ya namima ni magau ama no isaribi | Faintly, Uncertain if I’m here or not Do I pass through? Entangled between the waves, A fisherman’s torch. |
Lord Suetsune
123
Right
すみよしのなをたのみこししるしありてかへるみやこにおもひいでもがな
| sumiyoshi no na o tanomikoshi shirushi arite kaeru miyako ni omoi’ide mogana | In Sumiyoshi’s Name did I place my trust— Had it some effect then On returning to the capital Happy memories, I would have! |
Takanobu
124
The Left appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, saying ‘Entangled between the waves, / A fisherman’s torch’. Using ‘faintly’ and then concluding with ‘fisherman’s torch’ is extremely charming, but I do wonder about describing a person’s passage through the world as ‘faint’. The Right sounds elegant in style, but saying, ‘On returning to the capital / Happy memories, I would have!’ could be saying that the memories are of the return to the capital itself, and I don’t feel this matches with the initial part of the poem. In addition, is the conception of wanting the deity’s aid for the return? This sounds rather capricious. The Left has a pleasant configuration, and thus it should win.
Entō ōn’uta’awase 8
Round Eight
Left (Win)
朝まだきたつや霞の波まより昨日はみえし淡路島山
| asa madaki tatsu ya kasumi no namima yori kinō mieshi awajishima yama | Early in the morning, Breaking, haze From between the waves, rather than Yesterday’s sight of The mountains of Awaji Isle… |
Fujiwara no Tomoshige
15
Right
さえ残る雪げの春の朝霞かすむ名のみや空に立つらん
| saenokoru yukige no haru no asagasumi kasumu na nomi sora ni tatsuran | Do chilly remnants of Snowmelt in spring Make morning haze’s Blur in name alone Drift into the skies? |
Dharma Master Zenshin
16
The Left’s ‘Yesterday’s sight of the mountains of Awaji Isle’ sounds pleasant. The Right’s ‘Blur in name alone drift into the skies’ does not sound bad, but thinking of the conception of the topic, haze in name only is a bit inferior, isn’t it? Thus, the Left wins.
