Tag Archives: years

Love V: 2

Left (Tie).
逢見ても身にやは年の積るべき我老いらくになしと答ふな

aimite mo
mi ni ya wa toshi no
tsumorubeki
wa ga oiraku ni
nashi to kotauna
Even should you meet me
Upon you the years
Would the years pile up?
So to this old man
I would not have you say no…

Lord Ari’ie.
843

Right.
包めども老蘇の森の薄紅葉たへでも色に出でにける哉

tsutsumedomo
oiso no mori no
usumomiji
taedemo iro ni
idenikeru kana
Although they may be hidden in
The sacred grove of Oiso,
The pale scarlet leaves’
Hues may not endure, but
Still have appeared…

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
844

The Right state: the Left’s poem’s conception is vague. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to indicate.

In judgement: the Left is unclear in style, but the configuration of ‘upon you the years’ (mi ni ya wa toshi no) is pleasant. Although one wonders why ‘pale scarlet leaves’ (usumomiji) is used, the following ‘hues may not endure’ (taedemo iro ni) is elegant. The round should tie.

Love III: 28

Left.
いかなりし世世の報ひのつらさにてこの年月に弱らざるらん

ika narishi
yoyo no mukui no
tsurasa nite
kono toshitsuki ni
yowarazaruran
How many are
My lives blessed with
Pain alone, that
Through these passing years and months
It shows no sign of weakening?

Lord Sada’ie
775

Right.
年経にしつらきに堪へてながらふと聞かれんさへぞ今は悲しき

toshi henishi
tsuraki ni taete
nagarau to
kikaren sae zo
ima wa kanashiki
The years have passed
In nothing but pain
On and on;
All you would hear from me, though,
Is that, now, I am sad.

Lord Takanobu
776

The Right state: ‘It shows no sign of weakening’ [yowarazaruran] seems unsatisfactory in its  placement in this poem. The Left state: there are no faults to inidicate.

In judgement: the Left’s second section seems fine, but the initial section’s ‘pain alone’ (tsurasa)  sounds overly forceful. However, in the Right’s poem ‘All you would hear from me, though, is that, now, I am sad’ (kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki) in the final section seems both overly explicit and somewhat weak. I cannot award a win this round.