新玉の年ふりつもる山里に雪あかれぬは我が身なりけり
aratama no tosi Furitumoru yamazato ni yuki akarenu Fa wa ga mi narikeri |
Fresh-jewelled The years arrive and pile upon My mountain home; Unsurfeited with snow Am I! |
Left (Tie).
逢見ても身にやは年の積るべき我老いらくになしと答ふな
aimite mo mi ni ya wa toshi no tsumorubeki wa ga oiraku ni nashi to kotauna |
Even should you meet me Upon you the years Would the years pile up? So to this old man I would not have you say no… |
Lord Ari’ie.
843
Right.
包めども老蘇の森の薄紅葉たへでも色に出でにける哉
tsutsumedomo oiso no mori no usumomiji taedemo iro ni idenikeru kana |
Although they may be hidden in The sacred grove of Oiso, The pale scarlet leaves’ Hues may not endure, but Still have appeared… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
844
The Right state: the Left’s poem’s conception is vague. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to indicate.
In judgement: the Left is unclear in style, but the configuration of ‘upon you the years’ (mi ni ya wa toshi no) is pleasant. Although one wonders why ‘pale scarlet leaves’ (usumomiji) is used, the following ‘hues may not endure’ (taedemo iro ni) is elegant. The round should tie.
[One of] twenty-four poems sent by Lady Kasa to Lord Ōtomo no Yakamochi.
わが形見見つつ偲はせあらたまの年の緒長くわれも思はむ
wa ga katami mitutu sinopase aratama no tosi no wo nagaku ware mo omopamu |
On a keepsake of me Gaze and think of me; Fresh-jewelled as The years’ long thread Will my thoughts follow you. |
Left.
いかなりし世世の報ひのつらさにてこの年月に弱らざるらん
ika narishi yoyo no mukui no tsurasa nite kono toshitsuki ni yowarazaruran |
How many are My lives blessed with Pain alone, that Through these passing years and months It shows no sign of weakening? |
Lord Sada’ie
775
Right.
年経にしつらきに堪へてながらふと聞かれんさへぞ今は悲しき
toshi henishi tsuraki ni taete nagarau to kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki |
The years have passed In nothing but pain On and on; All you would hear from me, though, Is that, now, I am sad. |
Lord Takanobu
776
The Right state: ‘It shows no sign of weakening’ [yowarazaruran] seems unsatisfactory in its placement in this poem. The Left state: there are no faults to inidicate.
In judgement: the Left’s second section seems fine, but the initial section’s ‘pain alone’ (tsurasa) sounds overly forceful. However, in the Right’s poem ‘All you would hear from me, though, is that, now, I am sad’ (kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki) in the final section seems both overly explicit and somewhat weak. I cannot award a win this round.