sumiyoshi no matsu no muradachi kaze saete shikitsu no nami ni yadoru tsukikage
At Sumiyoshi The pines crowd together In the chilly wind, as Upon the waves at Shikitsu Lodges moonlight.
Lord Fujiwara no Sane’ie Supernumerary Middle Captain of the Inner Palace Guards, Right Division Exalted Junior Third Rank[1] 11
Right
なにはえのそこにやどれる月をみてまたすみのぼるわがこころかな
naniwae no soko ni yadoreru tsuki o mite mata suminoboru wa ga kokoro kana
At Naniwa Bay, Lodged on the bottom, The moon fills my gaze, as Once more, clearly soars My heart!
Lord Fujiwara no Atsuyori Junior Fifth Rank, Upper Grade Without Office[2] 12
In the Left’s poem, I can say that the configuration of ‘Upon the waves at Shikitsu / Lodges moonlight’ is pleasant. In the Right’s poem, saying ‘Lodged on the bottom, / The moon fills my gaze, as / Once more, clearly soars / My heart!’ appears to show deep thought but, while it appears that ‘Naniwa Bay’ encompasses Sumiyoshi, the conception of the topic expressing ‘over the shrine’ sounds somewhat vague. Then again, the Left’s tone is more in keeping with a poem for a poetry match, but it lacks any language particularly evocative of the topic, so the round ties.
yū kakuru kokochi koso sure sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue o terasu tsukikage
All hung with sacred streamers I feel they are— At Sumiyoshi The treetops of the pines Shining in the moonlight.
Lord Fujiwara no Shigenori Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Left Division Exalted Senior Third Rank[1] 9
Right
すみよしのまつのこずゑをみわたせばこよひぞかくる月のしらゆふ
sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue o miwataseba koyoi zo kakuru tsuki no shirayū
When, at Sumiyoshi Over the treetops of the pines I pass my gaze, Hung are they, this midnight With the moon’s white sacred streamers…
Lord Fujiwara no Morikata Junior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade Without Office[2] 10
Left and Right have produced poems on the moon, both with the conception of it resembling white sacred streamers hung on the treetops of the pines, while the differences between them are charming, it does not sound as if the poem of the Right has any reason for singling out ‘this midnight’, while nothing appears lacking in the beauty of the Left’s work and thus, once more, it wins.
[1]Shōsan’i-gyō sahyōe no kami Fujiwara ason Shigenori正三位行左兵衛督藤原朝臣成範
tsukikage wa saenikerashina kamigaki ya yorube no mizu ni tsurara’iru made
The moonlight Seems so chill, that In the sacred grounds Jars of proffered water Are rimmed with icicles…
Lord Fujiwara no Kiyosuke Junior Fourth Rank, Upper Grade Without Office[1] 7
Right
つきかげにかなづるきねがころもではゆきをめぐらすここちこそすれ
tsukikage ni kanazuru kine ga koromode wa yuki o megurasu kokochi koso sure
In the moonlight Dancing, the priests’ Sleeves Stir the snow— That’s how I feel…
Lord Consultant Fujiwara no Sanetsuna Major Controller of the Left Chief Inspector of the Records of Outgoing Officials Supernumerary Governor of Awa Exalted Junior Third Rank[1] 8
In the Left’s poem, the expression ‘Jars of proffered water / Are rimmed with icicles’ appears to make for a pleasant sequence but seems to have some dubious elements. First of all, I am aware that ‘proffered water’ is mentioned in the Tale of Genji in a poem on the day of the Kamo Festival: ‘That may be, but / Even in the jars of proffered water / Might not appear’[3], but beyond that, it is not used in prior poetry.[i] The water here sounds rather crude to these ears of mine; when one is using figurative language, although it seems possible to do so about any shrine, when referring to the moon before this one, to ignore a description of ice upon the surface of the sea or the beach being spread with pure white gemstones and simply to focus on ‘jars of proffered water’ and say one feels it ‘seems so chill’—well, I do wonder about that! As for the Right’s poem, the movements of a dance have long been described as ‘flurrying snow’ in the poetry of Cathay and now here we have the moonlight appearing to ‘stir the snow’—the conception here appears truly charming, but then we have the section saying ‘Dancing, the priests’: while it’s not that this turn of phrase has never been used before, it does not sound particularly elegant. While the Left does have vague sections, its configuration as a whole is fine. Thus, I think it has to win once more.
[2]Sangi jūsan’i-gyō sadaiben ken kageyu no kami awa gonkami Fujiwara ason Sanetsuna 参議従三位行左大弁兼勘解由長官阿波権守藤原朝臣実綱
[3] This poem appears in Maboroshi 幻, the forty-first chapter of the Tale of Genji (Genji monogatari 源氏物語). It is spoken by Chūjō, one of Genji’s ladies-in-waiting, after he has found her asleep, with her clothing in disorder one morning and flirtatiously suggested, as she has struggled to get dressed, that it has been so long since he has made love that he has forgotten how. She replies: さもこそはよるべの水に水草ゐめけふのかざしよ名さへ忘るる sa mo koso wa / yorube no mizu ni / mizukusa ime / kyō no kazashi yo / na sae wasururu ‘That may be, but / In the jars of proffered water / Waterweed grows old, perhaps, yet / To say that the blossom in your hair today / Has had its name forgotten? Really…’ (Genji monogatari 573). Genji is charmed by this reply and the narrator dryly notes, ‘He seemed not to have rejected her at least’ (Tyler 2001, 773) (hitori bakari wa oboshihanatanu keshiki nari 一人ばかりをば思し放たぬけしきなり (Imaizumi, Mori, and Wokazaki 1976, 872)). The version of the poem Shunzei quotes comes from an alternate version of the Genji text, which is now not regarded as authoritative.
[i] Kubota et al. (2024, 427) note that Shunzei is mistaken here, as there are prior examples of related expressions’ usage, by Izumi Shikibu, among others. For example: …she folded some paper into the shape of an offering, wrote this upon it and sent it.神かけてきみはあらがふたれかさはよるべにたまる水といひける kami kakete / kimi wa aragau / tare ka sa wa / yorube ni tamaru / mizu to iikeru ‘Before the Gods / My Lord, dispute with you / Who would? ‘Twould be as / Proffered jars filling / With water…’ (Izumi Shikibu-shū 109).
sumiyoshi no matsu no yukiai no tsukikage wa kumoma ni izuru kokochi koso sure
At Sumiyoshi, Pine boughs entwine, and The moonlight Emerges from between the clouds— That’s how it feels!
Lord Fujiwara no Sanekuni Supernumerary Middle Counsellor Captain of the Palace Guards, Left Division Exalted Senior Third Rank[2] 6
Both Left and Right, having the same conception contemplating ‘pine boughs entwine’, appear charming. ‘Emerges from between the clouds’ truly does sound as if it captures the moment, but the Left’s use of ‘even’ in ‘even from the gaps between’ show a deep knowledge of the world of poetry,[3] and thus, again, the Left wins.
[2]Shōsan’i-gyō gonchūnagon ken saemon no kami Fujiwara ason Sanekuni 正三位行権中納言兼左衛門督藤原朝臣実国
[3] Shunzei is praising Shun’e for his knowledge of earlier poems. Shun’e’s work builds on: 夜やさむき衣やうすきかたそぎのゆきあひのまより霜やおくらむ yo ya samuki / koromo ya usuki / katasogi no / yukiai no ma yori / shimo ya okuramu ‘Is it the night’s chill, or / My scanty robe: / Where the ridge poles of My shrine / Entwine, from the gaps between / Frost does seem to fall.’ This poem is said to be by the deity of Sumiyoshi (SKKS XIX: 1855). By adding in ‘even’ (mo) to the phrase he has taken from the deity’s work, Shun’e adds to it, saying that frost falls not only from the gaps in the shrine roof, but also from between the pine boughs outside. Shunzei’s judgement acknowledges the deep knowledge of prior poetry needed for this type of usage.
niwabi taku atari o nurumi oku shimo no tokenu ya tsuki no hikari naruramu
Braziers kindled shed Warmth all around, so That the fallen frost Melts not, due to the moon’s Light might be?
Lord Fujiwara no Sanefusa Major Counsellor Exalted Junior Second Rank[i] 3
Right
ひとすぢにあふぐこころをすみよしのそらゆく月にわけぞやらるる
hito suji ni ōgu kokoro o sumiyoshi no sora yuku tsuki ni wake zo yararuru
With my whole Heart I worship Sumiyoshi, for He The moon travelling through the skies Has dispensed!
Lord Minamoto no Yorimasa Supernumerary Master of the Right Capital Office Exalted Junior Fourth Rank, Upper Grade[ii] 4
The Left’s poem has a novel conception, while appearing to use familiar diction. The Right’s emotions, whereby whole-hearted faith sees the moon as provided by the deity when seeing it, also sound extremely charming, yet, still, the configuration of ‘melts not, the moon’ appears more in keeping with a poem for a poetry match, and thus the Left wins.
kokoronaki kokoro mo nao zo tsukihatsuru tsuki sae sumeru sumiyoshi no hama
Even my insensitive Heart is still Quite exhausted, So clear the moon Above the beach at Sumiyoshi…
Lord Fujiwara no Toshinari Master of the Dowager Empress’ Household Office Master of the Right Capital Office Exalted Senior Third Rank 2
The Left poem’s conception and configuration, saying ‘In ancient times was it so? / The moon o’er Suminoe’ is truly charming! While I am accustomed to hearing conceptions similar to that expressed in the initial line, I have no recollection of this exact turn of phrase and, in addition, leading with ‘Could these ancient’ and continuing with ‘Pines but speak’ is a conception which is rare, indeed. In the poem of the Right, on the moon over the beach before the shrine, I have quite exhausted my own meagre conceptions and, feel that my scanty words are not enough, I think. The Left’s poem is particularly fine, so it should win.
[i]Shōni’i Fujiwara ason Sanesada正二位藤原朝臣実定 (1139-1191)：Most frequently referred to today as the Later Tokudaiji Minister of the Left (Gotokudaiji no sadaijin 後徳大寺左大臣), Sanesada had an extensive court career, culminating in appointment as Minister of the Left in 1189, a position he was to hold for only two years, before illness forced him to surrender it in the middle of 1191, a few months before his death. Sanesada skillfully negotiated the fraught political environment following the Genpei War (1180-1185) and is known to have had the trust of Minamoto no Yoritomo 源頼朝 (1147-1199), the first Kamakura shogun. He was well-known as a poet, participating in many uta’awase, including this one, and has 73 poems in imperial anthologies, beginning with Senzaishū. His most famous poem today is: Composed in the conception of hearing a cuckoo at dawn. 時鳥鳴きつるかたをながむればたゞ有明の月ぞのこれる hototogisu / nakitsuru kata o / nagamureba / tada ariake no / tsuki zo nokoreru ‘A cuckoo / Calls from yonder— / Gazing there, / Only the daybreak / Moon remains.’ (SZS III: 161), which was included in Hyakunin isshu (81).
