Left.
立つ雉のなるゝ野原もかすみつゝ子を思ふ道や春まどふらん
| tatsu kiji no naruru nohara mo kasumitsutsu ko o omou michi ya haru madouran |
The flying pheasants Know these fields so well, yet Haze-covered, The fond way to their fledglings Does it sink springtime in confusion…? |
73
Right (Win).
鳴て立つきゞすの宿を尋ぬれば裾野の原の柴の下草
| nakitetatsu kigisu no yado o tasunureba susono no hara no shiba no shitagusa |
The crying, flying Pheasants’ lodging Should you seek out, look In meadows on the mountains’ skirts Among the brushwood undergrowth… |
74
The Right team wonder whether ‘know a field well’ (hara ni naruru) isn’t a bit ‘modern’ for poetry. Furthermore, ‘sink springtime in confusion’ (haru madouran) ‘seems to be missing something’ (by this they probably mean that you would expect the expression to be haru ni madouran, with the grammatical structure more clearly expressed). The Left team respond that the first line of the Right’s poem ‘grates on the ear’ and wonder, ‘What one is to make of “pheasants’ lodgings” (kigisu no yado)?’, meaning that traditional poetic expression called for ‘warblers’ lodgings’ (uguisu no yado).
Shunzei rather harshly says that the Left’s poem is ‘poorly constructed and unacceptable in both spirit and diction,’ wondering whether there was ‘a single school which would not find fault with it on the grounds of both logic and poetic form’? It would be possible to say ‘flying pheasants’ springtime confusion’ (tatsu kigisu no haru madou), and this would ‘not require any criticism’, just as ‘crying, flying pheasants’ lodging’ does not. Furthermore, the Right’s final stanza, ‘Among the brushwood undergrowth’ (shiba no shitagusa) is ‘particularly pleasant’ and so the Right’s poem must be awarded the victory.