The Right state: the conception of the Left’s poem is somewhat unclear. The Left state: the contents of the Right’s poem are pedestrian.
In judgement: is the conception of the Left’s poem, of the droplets remaining on one’s sleeves throughout the day being dewfall really that unclear? On hearing the Right’s akenureba hiru, I wondered what had happened to the morning? In addition, just having hiru and not hiruma is confusing. The poem does not say enough.
The Right state: the Left’s poem has only ‘daylight’ (hiruma) and no other associated images, which makes it unpleasant on the ear. The Left state: we wonder about ‘Not inclining is my darling’ (katabukanu imo).
In judgement: in addition to the lack of associated images with ‘daylight’, the content of the initial line seems insufficient. Although the Right’s ‘not inclining is my darling’ is a little unclear, it seems as if her feelings are unmoved in any way. This is certainly seems like the conception of the sun being fixed overhead at noon, so the Right should win.
The Right state: we cannot admire the Left’s poem. The Left state: in the Right’s poem ‘Has my very life at the hour of snake, its end’ (inochi sae mi no owari) sounds as if it is referring to two different matters.
In judgement: the Left’s poem simply says that after the hour of the snake comes the hour of the horse. It is unnecessary to say such things. The final line certainly seems to have nothing to do with anything. As for the fault of the Right’s poem, ‘life’ and ‘self’ have always had different meanings. Its first line, too, sounds elegant. Once more, the Right should win.
The Right state: while ‘shadowed’ (kakikurasu) is a normal turn of phrase, we find ‘tears shadowing my sight’ (kurasu namida) to be unsatisfactory. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of using shio no hiru ma alone for a play on words with hiru.
In judgement: The Left’s ‘That the hours had flown so fast I did forget’ (hima yuku koma mo wasurarete) gives the impression that the conception of the poem ought to be of waiting for dusk, but ‘First, the tears shadowing my sight I should suppress’ (kurasu namida o mazu osauran) seems to be something entirely different. As for the Right’s ‘Even when the beach is daytime dry my sleeves are soaked’ (shio no hiru ma mo sode wa nurekeri), I ask you, how can you think daytime isn’t a part of the phrase? The Right must win.