Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s ‘upon my sleeves’ (sode ni mite) seems to go well with the conception, but that conception itself is not expressed in the poem’s diction. The Right’s ‘for what should I sigh?’ simply expresses the conception in its diction. They are of the same quality and should tie.
Left and Right state: the contents of both poems are fine.
Shunzei’s judgement: the conception and configuration of both poems is elegant, and the Left’s ‘from the mugwort leaf-tips, the dewdrops’ (yomogyū no sueba no tsuyu) sounds fine. The Left should win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: there is nothing particularly at fault with the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is not that good.
Shunzei’s judgement: mentioning ‘the clouds close by’ (atari no kumo) and ‘remain so briefly –as does life’ (shibashi mo tomaru inochi) gives both poems a sense of pathos. I would say they are of the same quality.
The Right have nothing particular to say about the Left’s poem. The Left simply say that the Right’s poem contains sentiments heard many times before [tsune ni kikinaretaru yoshi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is nothing remarkable, but I feel it is a little gentler [ima sukoshi otonashikuhaberu]. I must make it the winner.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem contains a significant amount of less than desirable diction. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we have nothing in particular to mention.
Shunzei’s judgement: while the Left’s ‘Why does it never come?’ (nado ya todaenu) is certainly undesirable, the initial section is most tasteful [yū]. The Right’s ‘dewdrop life long’ (tsuyu no inochi o kaku) ‘words’ (koto no ha) seems hackneyed, so still, ‘Kuzuragi Bridge’ should stand as the winner.
The Right state that the Left’s use of ‘every one’ (bakari) connects poorly with the subsequent section [kakeawazu]. The Left state that the while the style of the Right’s poem seems elegant [sono tei yū ni niru to iedomo], ‘A dwelling, yet unseen bush-clover’ (mada minu sato no hagi) is hard to hear [kikigataku].
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘Distant Cathay unseen and unknown once’ (morokoshi no mizu shiranu yo) must be referring to the Three Histories and Eight Dynasties. This seems to be meaningful, but does not really indicate anything profound. As for ‘a dwelling, yet unseen bush-clover’, whichever way you look at it, it is modified by ‘dewfall has come’ (tsuyu o sasouran). However, the Left also has the recollection of Cathay, so the two poems are comparable.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is without fault. The Gentlemen of the Left state: while the Right’s ‘Kiku Pond’ (kiku no ike) does have something novel about it, ‘a mere mention’ (ii’idenu) is pedestrian.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘chrysanthemum valley’ (kiku no tani) and the Right’s ‘chrysanthemum pond’ (kiku no ike) both along the same lines and seem to sound charming [okashiku koso kikoehaberumeredomo]; still, ‘no dew from the chrysanthemum has touched my sleeves’ (kiku no tsuyu furenu tamoto yo) seems a little more elegant to me now.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in the Left’s poem we would have preferred ‘had fallen’ (kakarishi). The Gentlemen of the Left state: in the Right’s poem we would have preferred ‘Even yesterday those’ (kesa made mo kakaritsuru).
Shunzei’s judgement: I wonder whether the criticism of the Left’s poem as needing to be ‘had fallen’ is right. In the Right’s poem there is no need to have ‘those’ but it should be ‘these feelings I had lacked’ (kakaru omoi wa nakaritsuru mono o). Whichever way you look at it, this round is a tie.
The Gentlemen of both Left and Right state: we find no faults with the other team’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem, saying, ‘A fleeting dream I feel’ (hakanaki yume wa oboenuran) leading to ‘The three worlds’ Buddhas’ bells yet sound’ (miyo no hotoke no kane no hibiki) is particularly fine in configuration and conception [sugatakotoba kotoni yoroshiku koso]. The Right’s poem, too, starting ‘Buddhas’ Honoured names are as the morning sun’ (hotoke no mina wa asahi nite) and then having ‘Finally dispelling the year’s dewfall’ (yagate kieyuku hito tose no tsuyu) is reminiscent of the passage from the Samantabhadra Contemplation Sutra ‘many sins are like frost or dew – one can avoid and extinguish them with the sun of the Buddha’s blessings’; both poems move the heart and so I cannot say which is better or worse. Thus, the round ties.
The Right wonder, ‘Why the Left has “Autumn in twilight” (aki kurehatsuru) at daybreak?’ The Left respond, ‘This is simply to convey the feeling that autumn has reached its end with the evening darkness. In the Right’s poem, “no [return] to these skies” (sora naku) does not fit with the conception [kokoro yukite kikoezu]. We also wonder at the usage of “drenched with dew” (tsuyu shigeru).’