The Right state: we do not like the Left’s poem, but find no specific faults worth mentioning. The Left state: we are not accustomed to the expression ‘gentle connection; the mountain’ (nasake no yama)
In judgement: Mount Tamasaka’s cuckoo and the Weaver Maid’s gentle mountain connection are of the same quality.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘in places other than my sleeves’ (sode yori hoka ni) is a little old-fashioned. It does not win over the Right’s ‘thousand times’
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the conception of parting is not clearly expressed in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: it’s without thought.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem is in a style which expresses the emotions unusually, but charmingly. The Right’s poem is exactly on topic. It can only win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: being happy enough ‘to die’ (shinu bakari), as in the Left’s poem is not something that would really happen. The Gentlemen of the Left: we have nothing particular to say.
Shunzei’s judgement: when happiness is such that it is painful, one says it’s ‘enough to die’. I don’t see this as a fault. ‘One who would have no regrets is filling up with them’ (oshikaranu mi zo oshikunariyuku) seems to be lacking completion. If you are ‘filling’, then it implies more than a single night. The Left must win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in the Left’s poem the use of ‘have I waited’ (matareshi) gives the impression that the wait has been very long, indeed! In addition, ‘thought to go to sleep, but a further chime’ (neyo to no kane) is unsatisfactory. ‘Sunset bell’ (iriai no oto) and ‘sleep, but a further chime’ (neyo to no kane) – both these expressions have the same meaning. The Gentlemen of the Left state: in the Right’s poem ‘painful’ (kurushiki ni) sounds weak.
Shunzei’s judgement: the statement by the Gentlemen of the Right concerning ‘sunset bell’ and ‘sleep, but a further chime’ is correct. As for the faults of the Right’s poem, using painful or ‘sorrowful’ (wabishi) forcefully certainly does not sound weak. Having said, ‘I hear, in passing, but’ (kikisugusu dani) makes it more painful. The final line sounds charming. Thus, the Right wins.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem contains a significant amount of less than desirable diction. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we have nothing in particular to mention.
Shunzei’s judgement: while the Left’s ‘Why does it never come?’ (nado ya todaenu) is certainly undesirable, the initial section is most tasteful [yū]. The Right’s ‘dewdrop life long’ (tsuyu no inochi o kaku) ‘words’ (koto no ha) seems hackneyed, so still, ‘Kuzuragi Bridge’ should stand as the winner.
Both the Left and Right state they find no particular fault with the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s reference to prayer stakes is pretentious, but the final section ‘I entrust to the gods!’ (kami ni makasetsu) lacks resonance. The final line of the Right’s poem sounds fine [yoroshiku kikoyu]. It should win.
The Gentlemen of the Left and Right state the opposing team’s poem lacks thought.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left draws excessively on conceits of Kyushu. In the Right’s poem, ‘confusion in the fields’ (nobe no mayoi) does not seem to lead anywhere. Both of these poems lack any real conception other than their use of conceits. The round ties.
Neither Left nor Right finds any fault this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The final section of the Left’s poem a kind of charming form [hitotsu no sugata nite okashiku haberu], but ‘rocky shore’ (ara’iso) sounds frightful [osoroshiku kikoehabere]. The Right’s ‘plucking dropwort’ (seri tsumu) is archaic, but not objectionable [furugoto nareba nadarakani wa haberubeki], but saying ‘a trace within my heart’ (kokoro no ato o) gives an extremely relaxed and vague feeling [itaku kasumeru kokochishite], and so it is difficult to say that either poem is better.
kikiwataru
chigiri mo fukaki
enishi araba
sue mo taeseji
nakagawa no mizu
Word reaches me
Of a bond whose depth
Reaches the life before – should it be so
Then it will endure to the very end,
As do the waters of the Naka River!
The Gentlemen of both Left and Right state: the other team’s poem lacks thought.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both are most poetic examples of examples of verses using the imagery of waves and waters, and there appears to be very little pointless space between them, but rather than being told to ‘soak one’s sleeves’ with no sight of the lady, the ‘deep bond’ of the ‘waters of the Naka River’ seems superior.