Tag Archives: aki

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 17

Leave a comment

Left.

幾夜とも宿は答へず門田吹稲葉の風の秋の音づれ

ikuyo tomo
yado wa kotaezu
kadotafuku
inaba no kaze no
aki no otozure		 How many nights it’s been?
My home gives no reply;
Blowing ‘cross the field before my gates,
The wind among the rice stalks
Brings autumn calling…

Lord Sada’ie.

393

Right (Win).

わきてなど庵もる袖のしほるらん稲葉にかぎる秋の風かは

wakite nado
io moru sode no
shioruran
inaba ni kagiru
aki no kaze ka wa		 Apart, and yet
Sleeves within the watchman’s hut
Are drenched;
Among none other than the rice-stalks
Is the autumn wind?

Nobusada.

394

The Right state that the Left’s ‘Blowing ‘cross the field before my gates’ (kadota fuku) is grating on the ear. In addition, ‘should one really expect an answer from a house?’ The Left simply say that they find the Right’s poem ‘good’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Gentlemen of the Right have correctly identified two faults with the Left’s poem. The Right’s poem, on the other hand, in both diction and sentiment, is extremely charming, and the final section, in particular is most profound in form. I must make it the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 16

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

秋田守る賤が庵に宿からんさても此世は過ぬべき身ぞ

akita moru
shizu ga iori ni
yado karan
satemo kono yo wa
suginubeki mi zo		 The autumn paddies warding,
A peasant’s hut – there
Will I find lodging;
And thus, within this world
Will I be able to spend my time!

Lord Kanemune.

391

Right (Tie).

深からぬ山田の庵も秋はなを心のはては見つべかりけり

fukakaranu
yamada no io mo
aki wa nao
kokoro no hate wa
mitsubekarikeri		 Not deep at all within
The mountain paddies is this hut, yet
Autumn, still,
My heart, to the brim,
Does fill…

Ietaka.

392

The Right complain that the Left’s poem ‘appears to be expressing somewhat outré sentiments’. The Left state on the other hand that the Right’s poem is ‘not bad’.

Shunzei’s judgement: the type of emotional import expressed in the Left’s poem is superlative. In The Tales of Ise, after all, there is the section on ‘gathering fallen ears of rice’ – most charming! To say that this is outré suggests a deficiency of understanding. The Right’s poem, too, conveys an emotional message. I must wonder about the use of ‘Not deep at all within’ (fukakaranu), but still, the round should tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 15

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

遠近の庵に引板打つ音聞けばかたみに守るや秋の小山田

ochikochi no
io ni hita utsu
oto kikeba
katami ni moru ya
aki no oyamada		 Both near and far
From huts the bird clappers sound;
Hearing it,
I wonder do they ward together
The little mountain paddies at autumn time…

Kenshō.

389

Right.

風吹けば山田の庵に音信て稲葉ぞ人を守り明しける

kaze fukeba
yamada no io ni
otozurete
inaba zo hito wo
moriakashikeru		 When the wind does blow
To the mountain paddy huts
Comes the sound
Of rustling rice fronds; the folk within
Warding, wakeful, ‘til daybreak.

Jakuren.

390

The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem this round. The Left wonder about the suitability of the phrase ‘folk within warding’ (hito wo moru), to which the Right respond that the expression carries the sense of wakefulness.

Shunzei’s judgement: the Left has the sound of bird clappers jointly guarding the fields, the Right, the sound of rice stirred by the autumn wind rousing folk in their huts – both poems display a particular skill in terms of form, but perhaps at the expense of feeling. Furthermore, I am unable to apprehend the Right’s ‘rice fronds; the folk within warding’. The Left wins, by a small margin.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 14

Leave a comment

Left.

あはれかな遠の山田にさ夜更けてはのかに引板の音斗する

aware kana
ochi no yamada ni
sayo fukete
honoka ni hita no
oto bakari suru		 O, how sad!
From the distant mountain fields
As the night draws in
Comes faintly the bird-clapper’s
Sound, and nothing more…

Lord Suetsune.

387

Right (Win).

いづくより秋のあはれを誘ひ來て稲葉に風の吹續くらん

izuku yori
aki no aware o
sasoikite
inaba ni kaze no
fukutsuzukuran		 Where is it from that,
Autumn sadness
Is invited in?
Over the rice-stems the wind
Blows on and on…

The Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

388

The Right state that they are left wondering why, by the first line of the Left’s poem. The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left faintly hears the sound of a bird clapper from distant mountain fields. The Right’s poem is a from a dwelling among the fields. Moreover, ‘blows on and on’ (fukitsuzuku) is forceful, indeed. It must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 12

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

秋よたゞ眺め捨ても出なまし此里のみの夕と思はば

aki yo tada
nagamesutetemo
idenamashi
kono sato nomi no
yūbe to omowaba		 O, Autumn!
Could I escape you
I would leave
This dwelling, were it alone
Enveloped in evening..

Lord Sada’ie.

383

Right.

眺めつる軒端の萩の音信て松風になる夕暮の空

nagametsuru
nokiba no hagi no
otozurete
matsukaze ni naru
yūgure no sora		 Gazing
At the bush clover ‘neath my eaves,
A visitor’s step
Awaiting, carried by the pine-brushed wind,
From the evening skies…

Jakuren.

384

Neither team has any criticisms of the other’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: There is no distinction to make between the diction or emotional import of either poem. There is, of course, no reason to expect the wind not to blow through the pine trees, when it brushes the bush clover. I feel that the sentiment of this poem’s ‘pine-brushed wind’ (matsukaze ni naru) resembles that of Round One Hundred and Ninety’s ‘Insects sing from the cogon grasses in my garden’ (mushi no ne ni naru niwa no asajū), but is somewhat inferior. The Left, though, truly captures the feeling.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 11

Leave a comment

Left (Tie).

物思はでかゝる露やは袖に置く眺めてけりな秋の夕暮

mono’omoi wa de
kakaru tsuyu ya wa
sode ni oku
nagametekerina
aki no yūgure		 Without deep thought
Would such dewdrops
Fall upon my sleeves?
No, my gaze has, indeed, been lost
Upon this autumn evening…

A Servant Girl.

381

Right (Tie).

さてもさはいかにかすべき身の憂さを思果つれば秋の夕暮

sate mo sa wa
ika ni kasubeki
mi no usa o
omoihatsureba
aki no yūgure		 And so
How should I escape
From my misery?
I thought t’was done and yet
Am faced with a lonely autumn evening…

Nobusada.

382

Both teams feel the other’s poem is ‘most fine’.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems take the topic of ‘Autumn evenings’ and present one type of emotional import before reversing it, making it difficult to judge between them. It would seem arbitrary to assign a winner and loser between such phrases as the Left’s initial section ‘Would such dewdrops fall upon my sleeves?’ (kakaru tsuyu ya wa sode ni oku) and the Right’s final section ‘I thought t’was done and yet am faced with a lonely autumn evening…’ (omoihatsureba aki no yūgure). Thus, the round ties.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 9

Leave a comment

Left.

秋といへばさらでも物の悲しきに夕風立ちぬ高円の宮

aki to ieba
sarademo mono no
kanashiki ni
yūkaze tachinu
takamato no miya		 Speaking of the autumn,
Or even if we’re not, true
Sadness is in
The evening breeze
At the palace of Takamato.

Kenshō.

377

Right.

物ごとに秋はあはれを分ねども猶限りなき夕間暮かな

monogoto ni
aki wa aware o
wakanedomo
nao kagirinaki
yūmagure kana		 Everything
About the autumn is moving
Without exception, but
Most of all, it is
The early evening.

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.

378

The Right complain that ‘there is no specific linking expression in the poem with the palace at Takamato’; while the Left criticise the Right’s poem for ‘mentioning “everything” at the beginning, but then simply concluding with “early evening”.’

Shunzei’s judgement: while it is true that there is no specific link with ‘the palace at Takamato’ in the Left’s poem, is it not the case that it is a location redolent with sadness? The Right’s poem recalls ‘Everything/Is sadness/In the scarlet leaves’, and thus does not need to say more than this. However, we need to consider the concluding section ‘early evening’ (yūmagure kana). Just like ‘the palace at Takamato’, it lacks connection. The round must tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 7

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

秋はなを霧の靡に鹿鳴て花も露けき夕なりけり

aki wa nao
kiri no nabiki ni
shika nakite
hana mo tsuyukeki
yū narikeri		 It truly is autumn –
Through the fluttering mist
Comes the belling of a stag, and
The blooms, too, are dew-drenched
At even time…

Lord Kanemune.

373

Right.

哀をばいかにせよとて入會の聲うち添ふる鹿の音ならん

aware o ba
ika ni seyo tote
iriai no
koe uchi souru
shika no ne naran		 More sad
Than this there’s nothing!
The evening bell
Tolling, accompanied by
The belling of a stag.

Lord Tsune’ie.

374

The Right wonder, ‘In the expression “the blooms, too”, what does the “too” (mo) connect with? In addition, simply finishing the poem “At even time” (yū narikeri) shows a lack of conception.’ The Left counter that, ‘In the Right’s poem, expressions such as “more sad” (aware o ba) and “the belling of a stag” (shika no ne naran) are feeble. In addition, what of having iriai (“evening [bell]”), without explicitly including “bell” (kane)?’

Shunzei’s judgement: While I do wonder about the expression, ‘at even time’, with the inclusion of ‘too’ in the phrase ‘the blooms, too’, there is the impression of unspoken emotional overtones to the poem. The configuration of the first phrase, too, is particularly tasteful. As for the Right’s poem, it is not the case that iriai must always be accompanied by kane (‘bell’) – one can hear the bell in the phrase. However, overall, the Left’s poem gives a stronger impression, and so wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 28

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

萩の葉にかはりし風の秋の聲やがて野分の露砕く也

hagi no ha ni
kawarishi kaze no
aki no koe
yagate nowaki no
tsuyu kudakunari		 Bush clover leaves
Brushed by the breeze
Speak of autumn;
Swift comes the gale,
Scattering dewdrops…

Lord Sada’ie.

355

Right.

靡き行く尾花が末に浪越えて眞野の野分に續く濱風

nabikiyuku
obana ga sue ni
nami koete
mano no nowaki ni
tsuzuku hamakaze		 Streaming
Miscanthus fronds
Wave
At Mano in the gales
Born from breezes off the beaches.

Nobusada.

356

The Left’s ‘speak of autumn’ (aki no koe) and the Right’s ‘born from’ (tsuzuku) are each found unsatisfactory by the opposing team.

Shunzei states, ‘Both the poems of the Left and Right have been found unsatisfactory by a number of modern poets, and is this not reasonable? However, the Left’s “Brushed by the breeze speak of autumn” (kawarishi kaze no aki no koe) is particularly fine. The Right’s “born from” is not a turn of phrase which could be considered pleasant; starting with “streaming” (nabikiyuku) and then continuing to “breezes off the beaches” (hamakaze) which lead to “Mano in the gales” (mano no nowaki ni) suggests an implicit meaning, but the Left’s upper and lower sections are finer. It should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 20

Leave a comment

Left (Win).

小萱原吹來る秋の夕風に心亂れと鶉鳴くなり

ogayawara
fukikuru aki no
yūkaze ni
kokoro midare to
uzura naku nari		 Across the sedge fields
Come blowing the autumn
Evening winds;
My heart’s in disarray,
The quails are crying…

Lord Kanemune.

339

Right.

秋風を厭ひやすらん夕間暮淺茅が下に鶉鳴く也

aki kaze o
itoi ya suran
yūmagure
asaji ga shita ni
uzura naku nari		 The autumn wind:
Do they dislike it, I wonder?
In the dark of evening
From beneath the sparse stalks of cogon grass
The quails are crying…

Lord Tsune’ie.

340

The Right feel that, ‘Just having “my heart’s in disarray” (kokoro midare to) is lacking something.” The Left have no particular criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei responds, ‘The gentlemen of the Right have remarked upon the lack in the Left’s poem, wondering, no doubt, if this should be “feeling my heart’s in disarray” (kokoro midare tote). If one were to say that this is definitely the way the poem should have been composed, it would be something of a loss to the Way of Poetry, I feel. If we permit poets to say they are “moved” (aware nari), why not that their “heart’s in disarray”? The Right’s poem has a superlative final section, but one cannot know whether quails dislike the autumn wind or not. In Springtime, the warblers frolic in the mists; in Autumn, the insects cry from beneath the dewdrops – but each only at their allotted time, and from this one can tell the season. The quails’ cries make one feel the chill of the autumn wind. If one composes that they hid themselves from dislike of it, it restricts the imagination about quails too much. The Left wins.’