Left
住吉のきしによる波夜さへや夢のかよひ路人めよくらむ
| sumiyoshi no kishi ni yoru nami yoru sae ya yume no kayoiji hitome yokuramu | On Sumiyoshi’s Shore break waves; Even at night Upon the path of dreams Can we avoid others’ prying eyes? |
186
Right
夕附夜おぼろに人を見てしより天雲はれぬ心地こそすれ
| yūzukuyo oboro ni hito o miteshi yori amagumo harenu kokochi koso sure | On a moonlit evening Faintly, a lady Did I see, and ever since Heaven’s clouds, unclearing, Weigh on my feelings… |
187
Left
ひぐらしに秋の野山をわけくれば心にもあらぬ錦をぞきる
| higurashi ni aki no noyama o wakekureba kokoro ni mo aranu nishiki o zo kiru | When at sundown Through the autumn mountain meadows I come forging, Lying not within my heart, Brocade I am, indeed, cutting! |
84
Right
秋といへばあま雲までにもえにしを空さへしるくなどか見ゆらん
| aki to ieba amagumo made ni moenishi o sora sae shiruku nado ka miyuran | ‘Autumn’ is when Even as far as heaven’s clouds Have burned, but Why does the sky Seem so clear? |
85
Left
夏の日を天雲しばしかくさなむぬるほどもなく明くる夜にせん
| natsu no hi o amagumo shibashi kakusanamu nuru hodo mo naku akuru yo ni sen | The summer sun is Briefly by heaven’s clouds Concealed! No time to sleep in The bright night they’ve made! |
68
Right
郭公なきつる夏の山辺にはくつていださぬ人やすむらむ
| hototogisu nakitsuru natsu no yamabe ni wa kutsute idasanu hito ya sumuramu | A cuckoo Singing in summer On the mountainside: Does a man who will not reveal The price of shoes live there? |
69
Left (Win).
慰めてまどろむ程の戀ならば夜さへ物は思はざらまし
| nagusamete madoromu hodo no koi naraba yoru sae mono wa omowazaramashi |
Feeling some relief, Enough, at least, to doze: If that was my love, then Until the fall of night I would wish to avoid these gloomy thoughts. |
Lord Suetsune.
831
Right.
目に見えぬ夜こそまされ天雲のよそに成行く人のつらさは
| me ni mienu yoru koso masare amagumo no yoso ni nariyuku hito no tsurasa wa |
When all goes unseen At night, it overwhelms me: The cloudy heavens’ Distance, where he has gone So heartlessly. |
Ietaka.
832
The Right state: there are no faults to indicate. The Left state: we wonder about the suitability of the impression conveyed by ‘When all goes unseen at night’ (me ni mienu yoru) on hearing it.
In judgement: the poem of the Right, with its ‘The cloudy heavens’ distance, where he has gone’ (amagumo no yoso ni nariyuku) is elegant, but it is certain that ‘When all goes unseen’ (me ni mienu) recalls the expression from the Kokin Preface, ‘unseen gods and demons’. The Left’s poem sounds pleasantly realised from beginning to end. It should win.