Left (Win).
暮ていにし秋の形見と思ふべき菊さへ色を變へてけるかな
kurete’inishi
aki no katami to
omoubeki
kiku sae iro o
kaetekeru kana |
Night has fallen on
Autumn’s keepsake –
Or so I thought –
Even the chrysanthemums’ hues
Have changed… |
Lord Kanemune.
499
Right.
一枝も折りつる袖は白菊の匂ひまでこそ移ろひにけれ
hito eda mo
oritsuru sode wa
shiragiku no
nioi made koso
utsuroinikere |
A single stem
I plucked and to my sleeves
The white chrysanthemums’
Scent, even,
Has shifted… |
Jakuren.
500
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left state that there does not seem to be the conception of ‘lingering’ in the Right’s poem. In response, the Right say, ‘By the use of “even” (made) one can understand that the chrysanthemums’ hues have shifted as well. The use of “shift” (utsurou) expresses the conception of lingering [nokori no kokoro nari].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘Even the chrysanthemums’ hues’ (kiku sae iro o) seems most fine [yoroshiku koso haberumere]. The Right, too, with its ‘chrysanthemums’ scent’ (kiku no nioi) is particularly splendid [fukaku yū ni wa haberubeshi]. On the matter of the conception of lingering chrysanthemums [nokori no kiku no kokoro], the Right have said that ‘using “even the scent” expresses the conception of lingering’, which is true enough, but is it not that the scent has shifted to the poet’s sleeves, even though the flowers are chrysanthemums? Thus, the conception of a shift of hue must be somewhat weak [utsurou kokoro wa nao sukunakarubeku]. In any case, the Left’s conception of lingering is certainly stronger. The Left wins.