里分かぬ影をば見れど行く月の入佐の山を誰かたづぬる
| sato wakanu kage wo ba miredo yuku tuki no irusa no yama wo tare ka tadunuru |
Every dwelling Stands clear in this light, yet The moon travels on, Setting at Mount Irusa And who would call upon it there? |
Tag Archives: light
Winter II: 6
Left (Tie).
雲深き嶺の朝明けのいかならん槇の戸白む雪の光に
| kumo fukaki mine no asake no ika naran maki no to shiramu yuki no hikari ni |
Deep within the clouds, Morning to the peaks must come, But how? I wonder, With whitening round my cedar door, Brightened by the snow… |
551
Right.
眺めやる衣手寒し有明の月より殘る峰の白雪
| nagameyaru koromode samushi ariake no tsuki yori nokoru mine no shirayuki |
Gazing on, How chill my sleeves; The dawntime Moon will linger less than The snowfall on the peaks… |
552
Both teams say they find the other’s poem moving.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem has ‘deep snow’ (yuki fukaki), ‘whitening round my cedar door’ (maki no to shiramu), and the Right has ‘the dawntime moon will linger less than’ (ariake no tsuki yori nokoru) – the conception and diction of both are splendid [kokoro kotoba tomo ni yoroshiku koso haberumere]. It seems to me that is exactly how winter mornings are. Thus, it is difficult to say which is better. This must be a good tie [yoki ji].
Autumn III: 28
Left (Win).
九月の有明の空を見て後ぞ秋のあはれの果ては知りぬる
| nagatsuki no ariake no sora o mite nochi zo aware no hate wa shirinuru |
In the Longest Month At dawn, the skies I’ve seen, and That there is nothing more sad Have I come to know. |
475
Right.
暮れて行秋もそなたぞ恨めしき傾く月の影を見しより
| kureteyuku aki mo sonata zo urameshiki katabuku tsuki no kage o mishi yori |
Turning to dusk Is autumn, too; that direction I despise, with The sinking moon’s Light in my sight! |
476
As the previous round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘At dawn, the skies I’ve seen’ (ariake no sora o mite nochi zo) and the Right’s ‘The sinking moon’s light in my sight!’ (katabuku tsuki no kage o mishi yori), in terms of configuration, have neither strengths nor faults [sugata shōretsu naki], but ‘that direction’ (sonata zo) sounts overly simplistic [kotozokite kikoe]. Thus, the Left must win.
Autumn II: 28
Left (Tie).
眺めやる心の末も泊まれとや月に宿貸す廣澤の池
| nagameyaru kokoro no sue mo tomare to ya tsuki ni yado kasu hirosawa no ike |
‘Your wandering gaze Will find a resting place Here!’, is that what you say? Lending lodging to the moon, O, pond at Hirosawa! |
415
Right (Tie).
更科も明石もこゝに誘ひ來て月の光は廣澤の池
| sarashina mo akashi mo koko ni sasoikite tsuki no hikari wa hirosawa no ike |
Should I Sarashina and Akashi bring here, The best moonlight would be on Hirosawa Pond. |
416
Neither Left nor Right have any criticisms to make this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s “‘Will find a resting place here!’, is that what you say?” (kokoro no sue mo tomare to ya) seems particularly fine [yoroshiku koso miehaberu], but so is the Right’s “Akashi bring here” (akashi mo koko ni sasoikite) in form and diction [sugata kotoba] and so it is impossible to say it is inferior to the Left. This is a solid tie [yoki ji].
Autumn II: 27
Left (Win).
心こそ雲井はるかにあくがれめ眺めも誘ふ廣澤の月
| kokoro koso kumoi harukani akugareme nagame mo sasou hirosawa no tsuki |
My heart To the distant heavens Is drawn Pulled in by the sight Of the moon at Hirosawa. |
413
Right.
月の澄む空は外にも變らじを眼に餘る廣澤の影
| tsuki no sumu sora wa yoso ni mo kawaraji wo manako ni amaru hirosawa no kage |
The moon, so clearly lodged Within the skies, distant yet Unchanging: The sight can never sate my eyes Light on Hirosawa. |
414
The Right complain that in the Left’s poem the phrase ‘moon at Hirosawa’ (hirosawa no tsuki) is ‘grating on the ear’. The Left respond that ‘The sight can never sate my eyes light on Hirosawa’ (manako ni amaru hirosawa no kage) in the Right’s poem is, too.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘moon at Hirosawa’, I do not feel to be grating. What sort of expression, though is ‘pulled in by the sight’ (nagame mo sasou)? The Right is reminiscent of expressions like ‘all four corners of the world do not exhaust my gaze’, which when one hear’s them in Chinese poetry are remarkable, but sound wrong in a Japanese poem, and are even incomprehensible! ‘The moon at Hirosawa’ is, perhaps, more interesting. Thus, the Left wins.
Autumn II: 26
Left (Tie).
澄み來ける跡は光に殘れども月こそ古りね廣澤の池
| sumikikeru ato wa hikari ni nokoredomo tsuki koso furine hirosawa no ike |
Limpid Traces of light Remain, and yet The moon shows no sign of age Above Hirosawa Pond. |
411
Right.
隈もなく月澄む夜半は廣澤の池は空にぞ一つなりける
| kuma mo naku tsuki sumu yowa wa hirosawa no ike wa sora ni zo hitotsu narikeru |
Completely full The moon is clear at midnight: Hirosawa Pond and the heavens Have become as one. |
412
The Right query the expressions ‘light remain’ (hikari ni nokoru) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine), and also say that the Left’s poem lack emotional overtones of a ‘View’ as a topic. The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: On the Left’s poem, I do not strongly feel that expressions such as ‘traces of light’ (ato wa hikari ni) and ‘the moon shows no sign of age’ (tsuki koso furine) are particularly bad, but the gentlemen of the Right have identified two faults with the poem. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that there is much sense of a view in expressions such as, ‘pond and the heavens’ (ike wa sora ni zo), and the frequency of wa in tsuki sumu yowa wa, and ike wa, means the poem is lacking in form; it is truly unfortunate that I cannot declare the Left, which lacks a sense of a View, the winner.
Autumn I: 16
Left.
宵の間の月待つ程の雲間より思はぬ影を見する稲妻
| yoi no ma no tsuki matsu hodo no kumoma yori omowanu kage o misuru inazuma |
In the early evening While waiting for the moon, From between the clouds All unexpected is the light Of lightning. |
331
Right (Win).
夕月夜かげろふ宵の雲間より光をかへて照らす稲妻
| yūzukuyo kagerō yoi no kumoma yori hikari o kaete terasu inazuma |
The evening moon Misty is at dusk, when From between the clouds Comes a different light: A flash of lightning! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
332
Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘Both poems contain the line “from between the clouds” (kumoma yori), with the Left “while waiting for the moon” (tsuki matsu hodo) and the Right “The evening moon misty is at dusk” (yūzukuyo kagerō yoi). In addition to the fact that “misty” is far more charming in relation to an “evening moon”, than “waiting for the moon”, “all unexpected is the light” (omowanu kage) is not an expression I find particularly pleasing. “Comes a different light” (hikari o kaete) seem much finer. Thus, I make the right the winner.’
Autumn I: 14
Left (Tie).
稲妻の光にのみやなぐさめむ田中の里の夕闇の空
| inazuma no hikari ni nomi ya nagusamemu tanaka no sato no yūyami no sora |
Is it lightning’s Light alone, that Can console? Dwelling among the rice-fields Beneath the blackened evening sky. |
327
Right (Tie).
賤の男が山田の庵の苫を粗み漏る稲妻を友とこそ見れ
| shitsu no o ga yamada no io no toma o arami moru inazuma o tomo to koso mire |
A peasant in The mountain fields, whose hut has A rough roof of straw: The lightning dripping in Seems his single friend. |
328
As with the previous round, neither team can find fault with the other’s poem.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘The initial part of the Left’s poem is fine, indeed, but one wonders where the “dwelling among the rice fields” (tanaka no sato) is. I wonder whether nowadays poets can simply refer to a house among the rice fields. I do seem to have heard it before, but for the life of me I cannot remember where. As for the Right’s poem, this, too, has a perfectly standard beginning, but then has the expression “lightning dripping” (moru inazuma) – this seems rather new-fangled to me! Both poems are about the same.’
Autumn I: 13
Left (Win).
影宿す程なき袖の露の上に馴れても疎き宵の稲妻
| kage yadosu hodo naki sode no tsuyu no ue ni naretemo utoki yoi no inazuma |
The light dwells But for an instant on my sleeves Where dewdrops rest; Accustomed to it though I am, how distant is Lightning in the evening. |
325
Right.
むば玉の闇をあらはす稲妻も光の程ははかなかりけり
| mubatama no yami o arawasu inazuma mo hikari no hodo wa hakanakarikeri |
Lily-seed Dark, broken by Lightning; The flash, So brief. |
326
Neither team can find fault with the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei feels, ‘The spirit of “an instant on my sleeves” (hodo naki sode) is particularly fine, is it not? Prefacing “dark, broken by” (yami o arawasu) with “lily-seed” (mubatama no), seems somewhat overblown, and then concluding with “so brief” (hakanakarikeri) contradicts the initial statement. “Lightning in the evening” (yoi no inazuma) should win.’