Left.
打ち寄する浪より秋の龍田川さても忘れぬ柳陰かな
| uchiyosuru nami yori aki no tatsutagawa satemo wasurenu yanagikage kana |
Approaching on The waves, comes autumn to The Tatsuta River; And yet, I cannot forget The willows’ shade. |
311
Right.
秋淺き日影に夏は殘れども暮るゝ籬は荻の上風
| aki asaki hikage ni natsu wa nokoredomo kururu magaki wa ogi no uwakaze |
Faintly autumnal is The sunlight, with summer Yet remaining; At evening by the rough-woven fence Blows a breeze o’er the silver-grass. |
312
The Right say the Left’s poem is ‘particularly good.’ The Left state that, ‘“Faintly autumnl” (aki asaki) grates on the ear, and we also cannot grasp the use of “evening by the rough-woven fence” (kururu magaki).’
Shunzei states, ‘The Left’s “approaching on the waves” (nami yori aki no), seems particularly charming, but when taken together with “willows’ shade” (yanagi kade)– the Tatsuta River has long been the subject of composition on “flowing scarlet autumn leaves”, and even now this gives a slightly poetic effect; “willows’ shade” has been used in composition, both in ancient times and more recently, but does it not seem commonplace now? The Right’s poem is in the same vein as that of the Right in Round One Hundred and Fifty-Two, yet I do not find “faintly autumnal” to be unpleasant. “Evening by the rough-woven fence”, too, has charm. The Left’s poem has vocabulary in accordance with the contents; the Right unusual expressions. In this combination, the round must tie.’